I have begun reflecting on 2020 and so far I am struggling with the emotions that keep coming up and blocking me from finding the lessons in the experiences.
Many of my experiences this year were unprecedented, and as such, I was unsure if I had what it took to ride through them and come out on the other side. I am thankful for my habit of finding gratitude in every situation no matter how it looks on the surface or to others.
When I express gratitude, I am confirming that there is enough in my life. This is despite the fact that it might look different when it comes to food, finances, and friends.
There were many times in 2020, that I experienced some form of food insecurity. We found ourselves among thousands of others at the food bank drives just to put something in the fridge or in the pantry. Each and every time, we had enough to get us to the next drive.
We were humbled when so many of our friends gifted us with groceries during the hardest times of the COVID-19 Pandemic last spring. It was like a mystery date when we opened the front door and there were bags on the mat. One friend even took me on a virtual video grocery shopping spree, it was like riding in the cart while she picked up the items.
It is clear to me today that those friends and strangers supported us in ways that I never imagined we would need.
The COVID-19 Pandemic hit a lot of small businesses hard and my new and struggling business was no exception. I was doing my best to market it and network with others who might support me and my business. Despite my best efforts at following the playbook for many successful entrepreneurs who were coaching me and giving me advice, I was unable to land paying gigs or contracts.
I will never forget the day I looked at my bank balance and saw there was $11 in the account. While I was very afraid, I knew to be grateful and trust in the enoughness. It turned out that the money that we needed kept showing up just in time.
My bank balance does not define me as a person, and I laugh at the irony when there is a comma in the bank balance.
When I started this year, I held tight to my paradigms about my friendships. One was the longer the friendship, the deeper the friendship. That belief was shattered when the people I have known for a relatively short time were the most generous and supportive.
I had to own my expectations of other people and the pain it caused me when I thought that they might be there for me some of the ways that I had been there for them. While it might seem that giving and receiving are two halves of a whole, the reality is that they are interdependent and quite satisfied with it that way.
I prefer to surround myself with people who are genuinely interested in a relationship that is mutually beneficial rather than those who just want something from me.
My reflections about food, finances, and friendships have taught me that there are three things that I can control when in a relationship with any of the three.
- It is in my best interest to remain Present no matter the circumstances or consequences that I am living within my life.
- It supports my peace of mind to practice Patience in any and all of my life’s experiences.
- It is with a Positive mindset that I can endure anything life throws my way.
I expect 2021 to be much like 2020 in many ways and will not go into it with high hopes or expectations that might very well be squelched in the first days, weeks, or months. I will instead be open and receptive to whatever comes my way.
I intend to meet 2021 just like I have so many other years in the past, with an expectant cheerfulness that is supported by my goals of being Present, Patient, and Positive.
My reflection for 2020 is that I can live with and through anything while remaining in massive gratitude for everything without any judgment.
With much gratitude for the Lessons Learned from 2020!!!
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