Do you want your partner to stop giving you “the look” when they’re vacuuming, and you leave to go for a jog? To proudly tell all their friends how much you help around the house?
Here’s how to be a hero, stop the nagging, and solve the age-old problem of who does what around the house once and for all: Tackle it like a professional project manager. These organizational experts know how to manage billion-dollar business projects, and you can apply these same techniques at home. You’ll also get that happy smile from your partner, reduce the stress in your relationship, and maybe even improve your sex life because your partner won’t be so tired! Here’s what you do.
Be a Hero: The Set-up
Tell your partner that you genuinely want to equally divide up the workload in your home and you’ve learned how to do that like a professional project manager. They will probably roll their eyes, but stay the course. Explain that process involves identifying the work, deciding who does what based on capacity, and managing the work day to day. To go the extra hero mile, plan for a special time for just the two of you to talk about each of the five steps below and take notes.
Step 1: Identify the Work
First, it’s useful for everyone to be aware of all the work that has to be done around the house, so step number one is to discuss it. Have a brainstorming session and ask each person to list their ideas on a sheet of paper or on sticky notes. If you are doing this with your kids, you can make it a game to see who can write down the most chores or tasks like laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc. Break the tasks down so they’re small enough to be completed by one person in roughly 20-minute increments, like folding laundry, vacuuming living room, and clearing the dinner dishes.
Step 2: Check Availability
Now that you know what needs to get done, find out each person’s availability to do their part. If you want to go full geek, give them a chart to fill out their schedule for seven days. Include the parts of their day that take up large chunks of time, like sleeping, dressing, eating, work, school, commuting, recreational activities, exercise, chores, time with family and friends, etc. Fill out the hours spent per day on each item, and add up the totals for each day of the week. Share results and see how your schedules compare. This may be a shocker to both of you, so try to be understanding if your partner gets mad at your hour of gaming every day vs. their hour of meal prep and housecleaning.
Step 3: Decide Who Does What
Referring to everyone’s schedule, assign chores based on capacity and preference. You can start by asking if there are any tasks your partner would like to do because they have a natural interest in them. If there are chores that neither of you wants to do, like take out the trash, see who has the most capacity to do these things based on the schedule charts. You can also rotate the less desirable chores. For fun, try writing each chore on a piece of paper, putting them in a bowl, and picking them at random.
Step 4: Manage the Work
Once you know who will do each item, list them on a weekly schedule using an app, whiteboard, chalkboard, spreadsheet, or just a piece of paper. You can always revisit the plan later if needed based on changes in commutes, work, or activity schedules.
Step 5: Assign the Project Manager
Finally, decide who’s going to oversee or project manage each chore. It often works best to share the load and oversee different areas, such as laundry, chores, meals/groceries, bills, etc. This means that assigned person would be proactive in ensuring this work is organized, planned for and getting done. If something new pops up, like vacation planning, talk about who wants to handle that project or parts of it. Discuss what work has to be done and look at everyone’s schedules to determine the project manager roles in your home.
Now that you’ve reduced your partner’s stress and made them appreciate you more – enjoy being the hero and get your stuff done before they have to remind you.
You’re welcome, and enjoy the sex.
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