Stop Waiting for Happiness and Experience It

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I’ll be forty this week; that’s not the end of the world, but it is a milestone. It is also a time that I can reflect on where I have been, where I am, and where I am headed. For many, they use these milestones to decide what changes they need to make in their lives.

Not me.

Not that there aren’t changes I need to make, or will make moving forward. I just don’t wait for big events to realize they exist. I also don’t get to points in my life and say things like “It’s time to go after that dream.” Screw that, dreams are always in my mind. Goals are always in front of me and motivation is never something I am lacking.

I also don’t buy into the whole predestination argument. I see so many friends saying things like “I am exactly where God wants me” or “If it’s meant to be it will happen.” Sorry, that just isn’t how I was wired. I am where I am because of the decisions I and those around me made. Blaming your situation on some unseen force is an easy way to take the responsibility off yourself, but it won’t change things. Also waiting on that same unseen force to make things better will pretty much leave you stranded.

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I’ve had my own battles with depression that allowed me to think my life was worse that it was. One of the changes I made in life was to seek treatment and stop letting depression run my life. When you see things clearly, you understand exactly what you have and where you are. It is never as bad as depression tells you it is.

My life is filled with mistakes, missteps, bad decisions, and wrong turns and almost all of them made life more difficult. I didn’t wait on circumstance to change them; I made the change myself. I didn’t wait for my twenty-fifth, or thirtieth birthday to correct them. I made the changes as soon as I recognized the error and tried my hardest not to make them again.

Basically, either you are happy or you are not. If you are constantly looking to get out of the situation you are in, my friend, you aren’t happy. That doesn’t mean you have to be complacent with where you are it just means that you aren’t making the changes you need to make to progress. Most likely you are waiting around for the magic bullet or the big break. Sorry to be the one to break it to you, that isn’t going to happen.

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It takes some self-evaluation, to decide what you want and what you are willing to do to get them. There have been plenty of things I thought I desired that after evaluating the cost of achieving decided I no longer wanted. Many of those were things that society or peers said I needed. One big step that most of us need to take is quit worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop Facebook competing.

It is okay to be happy; it is okay to be content. If you’re a single adult with no children and a great career, and you are happy, that is okay. If you are married with multiple kids working an average 9 to 5 job, and you are happy, that is okay. If you are either of those and you want to do more in life, and you take a wild risk that friends and family think is stupid to be even happier, that is okay too.

If happen to be that person looking at someone else’s life saying things like “they need to settle down,” or “why on earth do they think they should be doing that?” Just shut up. Don’t drag people down to your level, to wallow in your unfulfilled misery. Quit knocking people because of your insecurities. Quit judging people because you were too afraid to stand on your own two feet, and think for yourself.

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If you’re happy, it is okay to be happy. If you’re not happy, it is okay to find happiness. Just don’t wait for approval or the next big milestone. Your daily life needs to reflect that happiness and the constant pursuit of its continuation.

Being content doesn’t mean being stagnant. Expanding your mind, your knowledge, and your experiences is always a good thing. Personal growth should never stop no matter where you are in life. Trying new things, or setting even small goals is always a great way to stay motivated and remain happy.

I’ll be forty this week, and I am good with that.

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