Many of us are driven to perfection by the paradigms that continually run in our minds; those scripts were installed by our parents, teachers, and leaders in most cases without our consent.
It seems to me that only through reflection and self-discovery can we fully understand the impact of any of these paradigms. We have to come off autopilot to realize that our life is being run by these internal thought patterns that in many cases we did not install.
For a lot of people, the idea of being imperfect is painful and drives them to go beyond what is humanly possible to achieve perfection. There are unique pains and sufferings that come with avoiding imperfection in the pursuit of perfection, and just one example is chronic addiction.
Perfection is defined as being as good as it is possible to be, few people focus on the word good and instead strive for words like excellent, outstanding, and exemplary. All of which are words that might drive us beyond what is realistically achievable. When was the last time you ‘settled’ for good in the pursuit of perfection?
Imperfection is thought to be faulty or incomplete and might even include defective in its description. When was the last time you wanted to identify as someone who was defective?
One thing to keep in mind with either one of these words is that they have no power without your paradigm. Just like a lamp on the table, when it is turned off it has no power to illuminate the room. The lamp is turned on with power that only then can make a difference in the room.
The words perfect and imperfect have no impact on you and your life until the paradigm is activated. The big deal here is to do your best to know which scripts you want running when you encounter these words.
Do the paradigms you have running about perfection and imperfection in your mind support you and your quest to be kind and caring towards yourself and other people or are they harsh and punishing?
With deep reflection and self-discovery, we can update the paradigms in our minds. The old versions that no longer serve you must be removed or deactivated, while the new ones take their place.
When I was 40 I was single for the first time, and one of the first things I found myself doing was taking in my solitude was taking inventory of my values and paradigms.
I was shocked to see how many scripts that I had ingested from other people that were not serving me. I am glad to say that all of these years later, I am running on many of the updated paradigms that I accepted back then. There are of course the news ones that were added with each new lie experience.
As a firstborn, I was predisposed to the pursuit of perfection and it demanded my undivided attention and focused action for much of my life until I was in my mid-thirties and starting to have some significant ah-ha moments.
I replaced my obsession with perfection with pursuits that were kinder and gentler on me and those around me. In time, I have come to make reflection and self-discovery a habit so that I might keep my operating system up to date for me and the life I want to live.
These are just three of the paradigms that run in my mind on a daily basis now and my experience with each of them is kinder and gentler on me and those around me.
I seek the opportunity to do new things or things for the first time as often as I can so that I am a learner, not an expert.
I use superlative words to reinforce my actions and outcomes, not the word perfect.
I ask for help and guidance when I am doing things that are unfamiliar to me, not isolating myself.
When was the last time you reflected on your paradigms and internal scripts? Are all of them still serving and supporting you in living the life that makes you feel complete?
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