Admittedly, I’ve been on a Brene Brown kick lately. I’ve watched a few (or five) of her YouTube videos in the last month, and I picked up her book Daring Greatly.
I’m twenty-eight pages deep, and my life has undoubtedly shifted gears for the better, but it wasn’t until I remembered something Santa said while he was cooped up in the hospital with a broken heart that really brought it home for me.
My client, Santa, was admitted to the hospital for a lethal infection where his new pacemaker had been placed and couldn’t be released until fluid stopped oozing from his incision. He was incredibly lonely and missing his wife, Mrs. Clause, who passed away in 2018. He desperately wanted to be back home with his two dogs, where he could eat a decent tasting meal in his recliner, and not be attached to machines 24/7.
I’ve never felt this so vulnerable before. I miss my her so much. I always thought she’d be around for stuff like this…
Kind of tugs on your heartstrings, doesn’t it?
The hospital visit got me thinking I should really do something about my aversion to vulnerability if things in my life are ever going to improve.
I’ve been sitting on this draft for a while — too scared to be vulnerable enough to publish it.
Today I’m daring greatly to put it all out there and be seen for everything I am and everything I’m striving to be.
Psychology and social psychology have produced very persuasive evidence on the importance of acknowledging vulnerabilities. From the field of health psychology, studies show that perceived vulnerability, meaning the ability to acknowledge our risks and exposure, greatly increases our chance of adhering to some kind of positive health regimen. In order to get patients to comply with prevention routines, they must work on perceived vulnerability. And what makes this really interesting is that the critical issue is not about our actual level of vulnerabilities, but the level at which we acknowledge our vulnerabilities around a certain illness or threat.
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free
— Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
Things that make me feel vulnerable and (sometimes) incredibly liberated at the same time:
•Crying (specifically lip-quivering ugly crying).
•Letting my guard down enough to show Mr. Grey affection after he hurt me.
•Having sex when I’m already feeling so emotionally raw and exposed.
•Early mornings, when the wind is howling, the kids are off to school, Mr. G is off to work, and I’m left at home to sit in my quiet with my thoughts.
•Being financially dependent on someone else while working my ass off as a wife, mother, and human.
•Mr. Grey being the only man I’ve ever had sex with.
•Depression.
•Anxiety.
•Writing this list.
•When the whole neighborhood witnessed my Dad’s mental breakdown.
•When my husband talks about opening our marriage.
•When I talk about opening my marriage.
•When I feel like I’m not enough. (*spoiler alert* — I am.)
•Getting older.
•Anything (or anyone) coming in between my children and their wellbeing.
•Getting dressed up (i.e., wearing anything but workout clothes or scrubs.)
•My ten-year-old son, Liam, being as tall as me. (It’s bullshit.)
•Being home with the kids while Mr. Grey is out of town for work.
•Reading my old journal entries and posting them on Medium.
•Asking for things I need and want.
•Having a daughter.
* * *
Whew. Letting go of all that stuff was uncomfortable. I also feel like a new woman over here.
In closing, all I can say is that I’m doing the best I can right now. And I know you are too.
Keep up the good work. ❤
* * *
Food for Thought
Inspired by no other than Brene Brown (and the next chapter in Daring Greatly), I want to leave you with a few questions to ponder over the weekend:
•How do you define vulnerability?
•What makes you feel vulnerable?
* * *
Thank you for reading and spending time with me today. ❤ D
—
Previously published on Medium.com.
—
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Talk to you soon.
—
Photo credit: Oliver Cole on Unsplash