Students Tell Every Teacher They’re Their Favorite Teacher

“What’s up, favorite teacher?”

I’ve heard this line several times over the past month as we have returned to in-person learning, and I always smile, thank the student, then roll my eyes. Sometimes, the student is being genuine. Other times the student says every teacher is their favorite teacher.

Other times my status as the favorite teacher is very fleeting — it might last a week, a day, or even a couple of hours. Usually, I’ll do something to eliminate my status as the student’s “favorite teacher.” Maybe it’s enforcing my school’s uniform policy. “You’re the only teacher that makes me put my uniform on!” or asking a student to put their phone away.

Some students tell me “You’re the only teacher that makes me put my phone away,” which is completely not true and somewhat manipulative because I know all my colleagues do the same thing. Another student who told me I’m their favorite teacher said I wasn’t his favorite teacher anymore after I called his mom.

Well, it seems like a teacher can be a student’s favorite and least favorite teacher at the same time. I just don’t know what to do anymore now that I’m not some kids’ favorite teacher.

Yes, there’s a part of me that wants to believe I’m not average, below average, or above average as a teacher. A large part of me wants to believe I’m so exceptional and these heathen, non-hard working teachers are just sandbagging the job. I want to believe I’m the best in the world, and yes, I do have a hint of megalomania about my impact on changing the world and my outsized role in these students’ lives.

But I am just average. I work with all these other teachers. I see how they plan and prepare. I see them teach. And I know they are as hard-working and exceptional as I am. And since not everyone can be exceptional, I’m content with the fact that we’re all just average, normal people who have our moments where we’re in the spotlight of favor or disfavor for certain students. This isn’t to say we’re all the same. Every teacher has their own style.

Not to mention that when I was a student, my favorite teacher changed every day.

We’re stronger with each other, not weaker, and we are all a team. My relationships with these teachers will always be more personal and stronger than my relationships with my students — that’s how it’s always going to be. There are simply things about yourself you cannot share with students, nor are appropriate to share with minors. Teachers see each other through some of the most difficult and challenging moments of each others’ lives. While there’s always professional distance, some of my teaching friends are some of my best friends in our personal lives.

What outweighs that propensity towards megalomania is solidarity. All teachers are in this together. When a student talks shit about my fellow teachers, I shut it down. Those are my colleagues. Those are my friends. They’re trying too, and I would want them to have my back if something bad was said about me, which I don’t doubt happens from time to time.

I won’t lie that it feels great when a student says I’m their favorite teacher. And it’s nice to be liked. But it’s not the ultimate goal. When I was the nicest teacher in the school at some point of first year, I was not an effective teacher because of my utter refusal to be anything resembling a disciplinarian. And in reflection, that was not fair to other people in my school that looked like the bad guys because I worked so hard to be liked and not enforce basic behavioral expectations.

To a point, teachers are in their own world. Students are in theirs. I’m not saying we can’t connect and cannot have great, phenomenal relationships. But in the role and power differential, there needs to be boundaries. I used to let students use my phone whenever they wanted. That led to disaster, as you can expect.

I will cast aside my role as my students’ favorite teacher because I know my colleagues, and I know, with some rare exceptions, that they are all terrific teachers. I see the ways they interact with students. I see the pressure. I see how much they care.

Being an average teacher among such a great crowd then is underrated. I am a proud average-maybe above average-teacher.

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This post was previously published on MuddyUm.

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