A new study has confirmed that 100% of people lie when the dentist asks them how often they floss their teeth.
The study, which was recently published in the Journal of Patient Deceit, found that everyone spews bullshit when they’re asked the question that every dentist inevitably asks at the start of every appointment.
“I lie through my teeth,” said one participant, who then chuckled at the pun he made. He then proceeded to grimace widely, showing off the piece of lettuce stuck in his teeth.
When asked what prompted the study, Dr. Steve Toothman, lead research on the study and local dentist, explains that he knew his patients were full of shit and he wanted to call them out on it.
Meanwhile, some dentists are dismayed by the news. “I really wanted to believe my patients,” said Dr. Bernie Crest. “I’m heartbroken now. Apparently, all of them have lied to my fucking face like assholes. I’ve turned to bourbon every night since I’ve heard the study results.”
Dr. Crest is now considering a different career path.
Dr. Toothman found that avoidance is a huge factor as most people are too fucking scared to be honest with their dentists.
“People are chicken shits,” Dr. Toothman said. “They would rather lie and say that they floss their teeth 20 times a day than tell us the truth. They don’t understand that we’re here to help them maintain proper oral health.”
Some people who participated in the study have confessed that they’ve never flossed ever in their life.
“I don’t even know what dental floss is,” said a participant who chose to remain anonymous in the study. “But I’m really embarrassed to admit that to my dentist so I just lie and repeatedly nod my head to my dentist, pretending that I’m in absolute agreement with everything he says.”
Sources have later confirmed that the anonymous participant is one of Dr. Crest’s patients.
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Previously Published on Medium
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