Where did the idea come from that men are superior to women, that white people are superior to PoC, that cis-het people are superior to LGBTQ+ people, that Americans are superior to those from other countries, that rich people are superior to those of lower socio-economic status, that those with formal education are superior to those without it, that followers of certain religions are superior to those of other religions, that English speaking people are superior to those who communicate with other languages, that people without disabilities are superior to those with physical or psychological challenges?
Now, how do we change those inequities?
I grew up in a home in which such discrepancies were unacceptable. As the parents of two daughters, mine taught us that my sister and I could accomplish anything that we set our minds to and devoted our attention and time to. We were given latitude to be physically active, climbing trees, riding bikes, skating, getting dirty and also to be ‘ladies’. I rocked patent leather shoes and roller skates, tie dye and lacy dresses in the 60s and 70s. I had my share of skinned knees and muddy clothes. As a second generation American born granddaughter of Russian Jewish immigrants who came here during the pogrom to escape persecution, my parents wanted to be sure that we were aware of hatred, particularly anti-Semitism, but didn’t want us to add to the negativity. One of my mom’s favorite musicals was South Pacific with the song “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught,” that speaks of indoctrinating children to hate. We weren’t allowed to use the word ‘hate’ in our home. They took us to the World’s Fair in NYC twice and every year, we went to an international festival at the local high school.
My parents were working class and did have a residual feeling that somehow rich people were different from them. I did my best to disavow them of that belief when I became a teenager. You can’t buy class. We had friends, as did they, of different religions and skin colors. We were allowed to go to church with Christian friends but were reminded that Judaism was at the core of our identity. I was the only one of us that went to college and grad school and then seminary, becoming an ordained interfaith minister. My parents and my sister were/are lifelong learners who were self educated and curious about the world. When I was a kid, my dad volunteered with a girl in the neighborhood with Muscular Dystrophy and did something called Patterning. I think it was a form of physical therapy. My dad spoke both English and Yiddish, my paternal grandmother spoke bits and pieces of five languages, but couldn’t read or write in any of them. She was not a stupid woman, just not formally educated. She ‘cooked by ear,’ as I called it, using a pinch of this and a dab of that. She had a lengthy list with phone numbers of family and friends but no names next to them since she would not be able to read them, so she memorized them.
I have friends whose ancestry is varied. I have friends who speak languages that I don’t. I have friends in the LGBTQ+ community. I have friends who see God through the same lens as I do, some who worship differently and some who have no religious beliefs or practices. I have friends who are living paycheck to paycheck and some whose bank accounts are overflowing.
I don’t see myself as superior or inferior to any of them.
I posed these questions a few days ago on my Facebook page and not surprisingly, I received responses from many of my socially conscious, outspoken friends.
One was from Steve Nolan who is a retired military social worker whose job it was to evaluate personnel for psychological fitness to serve. When the current Commander in Chief entered office, warning bells went off in his mind, knowing that the man would not pass muster if evaluated. His book called American Carnage: An Officer’s Duty to Warn, reminds us that we should ALL be alarmed. He has said, “Had I been faced with any service member who stated that sexual assault was due to putting men and women together, who refused to believe that their Commander in Chief was a U.S. citizen, who thought he knew more than the generals, who believed and claimed that enemy leadership was stronger than American leadership, that we should murder family members of terrorists, that the Geneva Conventions tie the hands of our military, that proven U.S. intelligence is a hoax, that Neo-Nazis are fine people, or that a free press is the enemy of the people, I would be obligated to discharge that person from the military.”
I have referenced Steve in a few articles for The Good Men Project.
Another came from coach, speaker and author, Jennifer Gardella, whose book Domestic Violence Awareness-Listen for the Whispers of Abuse highlights the devastating impact of emotional abuse. I had interviewed her when the book was released in 2023.
- Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
- “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” — Theodore Parker
- “There is no justice without equality.” — Unknown
- “Equal rights for others does not mean fewer rights for you. It’s not pie.” — Unknown
- “Until we are all free, none of us are free.” — Emma Lazarus
- “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?” — Eleanor Roosevelt
- A gender-equal society would be one where the word ‘gender’ does not exist.” — Gloria Steinem
- “I raise up my voice—not so I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard.” — Malala Yousafzai
- “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” — Marie Shear
- “Men of quality respect women’s equality.”
- “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
- “No country can ever truly flourish if it stifles the potential of its women.” — Michelle Obama
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
