Take It Slow — An Advice That’s Keep You Single

One of the first advice that we all get when we start seeing someone new is “Don’t rush it. Take it slow”

And for the most part, this is great advice.

But unless you execute it properly, taking things slow will forever keep you single or worse, land you in a situationship.

Here’s What Taking It Slow Actually Means

• Don’t overshare personal details too soon.
• Don’t jump into any commitment too soon.
• Don’t plan a future with them right away.
• Don’t make any promises too soon.
• Don’t mingle your lives too soon.
• Don’t get physical too soon (unless it’s not a big deal for you).

Let Me Explain: The reason why you should take things slow in this regard is because when you get to know a person, they are usually putting their best foot forward for at least the first 1–2 months.

You are yet to know the real person underneath all that facade.

And without knowing the real person, it’s stupid to think of a future, share personal details, or fall in love too quickly.

It will only lead to heartbreak if their reality is too different from their facade.

But

A lot of people make a grave mistake when following the “take it slow” advice”.

Here’s what they do:

• Not setting your expectations right away.
• Not showing your boundaries right away.
• Not showing your true personality right away.
• Not talking about your own future plans right away.
• Keeping your views and opinions to yourself or molding them as per their opinion.

A lot of people, especially women, try to play it cool by not being their true authentic self from day 1.

But it only lands them in bigger problems later on.

Let Me Explain: I find it really difficult to open up to new people, especially in a romantic context.

So although I am a professional yapper with my friends, I would always maintain a serious demeanor with the guys I would date.

That was a huge mistake!

Because 6 months later when I was finally a little comfortable with him and started showing my real side, he was confused. He couldn’t recognize me.

Where was the girl he had been dating for the last 6 months?

Well, that relationship didn’t work out. I was “not his type”

So here’s what happens when you “take it slow” with your expectations and personality for a really long time.

For example,

• If you are a funny person, don’t hold back on your humor. Instead, hit them with your usual jokes and see how they handle it.
• If you want to move to a certain city/country, drop it casually during a conversation and see what they think.
• If you have any political opinion, share it with them.
• If you have a certain relationship boundary, express it beforehand and see what they think about it.
• If you are someone who requires more communication, slowly build that pace with your partner instead of waiting for 6 months and suddenly expecting them to change.

So the next time you start dating someone, definitely take it slow— but don’t hold back on your thoughts, opinions, and personality.

It’s a simple concept — your true personality will come out eventually. So it’s better to see if they can handle the real you right from the beginning instead of waiting for a whole year and realizing you are not compatible.

Let’s Stay Connected

If you like my posts, you can SUBSCRIBE so that you get all my stories delivered to your email.

And if you want, you can also support me and fuel my writing by Buying Me A Coffee.