The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” — William James
There are many elements beyond our control.
The unpredictability of events and circumstances can often leave us feeling powerless. Powerlessness is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness or inadequacy in stressful situations — making us more susceptible to anxiety, stress, and depression.
I will never forget when I was at my worst point of debt. My debt accumulated over one hundred thousand dollars, and I felt lost. The debt has been an accumulation of school, helping family, not paying credit cards off, interest on those balances, travel, unexpected expenses, emergencies, impulsive spending, and some bad choices.
While I felt lost, I realized there were a few things I could control about this hopeless situation, mainly my attitude towards it. I could look at the debt as Mount Everest and approach it as an inexperienced climber, or I could approach it as a tiny hill that I could ascent step by step.
I chose to approach it on a step-by-step basis. I accepted accountability for my situation and steadily worked towards fixing the problem. I am still working things down, and there is a clear path forward.
I often think about this situation and wonder what would happen if I didn’t choose the step-by-step method.
What if I gave in to the helplessness of the debt and stopped looking at the situation as something that could be overcome? If I had chosen that route, I would have been racked with depression and guilt and wouldn’t be the person I am now, willing and brave enough to overcome this hurdle.
How many of us face situations that make us feel helpless?
Too many, I would venture to say.
But there is good news — amidst this chaotic feeling: there is a domain where we hold authority — a domain defined by our choices and actions.
As the ancient philosopher Epictetus wisely noted: “There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things beyond the power of our will.”
There are always things in your control, no matter how bleak the circumstances may feel, and those things are:
Your words, actions, behavior, attitude, perspective, focus, effort, and energy.
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Words
Our words are the vessel through which we express our thoughts and emotions. They shape our interactions with others and profoundly impact our relationships. We can foster understanding, empathy, and cooperation by carefully choosing words.
This way, our words become a powerful tool for building connections and creating a positive environment.
Malala Yousafzai, the Nobel laureate and advocate for girls’ education, has consistently used her words to speak out against the suppression of education for girls in Pakistan. Her unwavering commitment to her cause through her speeches and writings has inspired change and drawn global attention to the issue.
Actions
Actions speak louder than words.
Every action we take is a conscious choice. These choices define our character and determine the direction of our lives. We can steer our journey toward fulfilling our goals and dreams by taking responsibility for our actions and aligning them with our values.
Elon Musk, the entrepreneur and CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, exemplifies taking control through actions. He set ambitious goals for space exploration with SpaceX and accelerated the transition to electric vehicles through Tesla, which required significant effort and commitment.
Behavior
Our behavior is the culmination of repeated actions.
It is a reflection of our character and the values we hold dear. By consciously cultivating positive behaviors, we can mold ourselves into the person we aspire to be.
Our behavior also influences how others perceive us, impacting our personal and professional relationships.
Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany, is known for her calm and steady behavior in leadership. Her consistent approach to diplomacy and crisis management earned her respect and trust both within her country and globally.
Attitude
Attitude is a driving force behind our outlook on life.
It is a daily perspective influencing our responses to challenges and setbacks.
Maintaining a positive attitude can empower us to face adversity with resilience and optimism, making it a crucial aspect of what we control.
Oprah Winfrey, the media mogul, overcame adversity and challenging circumstances early in her life to become one of the most influential figures in media. Her positive attitude and determination to succeed have been instrumental in her remarkable career.
Perspective
How we perceive the world around us is entirely within our control.
Our perspective shapes our reality. By adopting a growth mindset and reframing challenges as opportunities for growth, we can transform obstacles into stepping stones toward personal development and success.
Stephen Hawking, the renowned physicist, faced severe physical limitations due to ALS but maintained a perspective focused on the possibilities of theoretical physics. His groundbreaking work and ability to see beyond his physical constraints demonstrated the power of perspective.
Focus
Our ability to concentrate our attention on specific tasks or goals is a powerful skill.
By focusing on what truly matters, we can maximize productivity and achieve our objectives more efficiently.
Managing distractions and staying focused is a skill that can be honed through practice.
Warren Buffett, one of the world’s most successful investors, has consistently emphasized the importance of focus. He has concentrated his investment efforts on a few key companies and industries, allowing him to achieve remarkable financial success.
Effort
Effort is the measure of dedication we put into our endeavors. It is the fuel that propels us towards our aspirations. When we give our best effort, we take control of our pursuit of excellence, pushing the boundaries of what we can achieve.
J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, faced numerous rejections before finding success. Her dedication to writing and revising her manuscript, even in the face of rejection, eventually led to one of the best-selling book series in history.
Energy
Our energy levels are closely tied to our physical and mental well-being.
By prioritizing self-care and making conscious choices about how we expend our energy, we can ensure that we have the vitality required to face life’s challenges with vigor.
Michelle Obama, the former First Lady of the United States, made promoting healthy eating and fitness a cornerstone of her time in the White House. Her focus on health and wellness inspires people to lead healthier lives.
Response to Events and Circumstances
The most crucial aspect of control is our response to external events and circumstances.
While we cannot control these events, we can control how we react.
We can navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and poise by maintaining emotional intelligence and resilience.
Nelson Mandela, the anti-apartheid revolutionary and former President of South Africa, responded to his long imprisonment with resilience and a commitment to reconciliation upon his release. His response played a vital role in South Africa’s transition to democracy.
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Final Thoughts
These real-life examples showcase how famous individuals have harnessed control over their lives to achieve significant impact, inspire change, and lead by example.
They demonstrate the power of personal agency in shaping destiny and making a difference in the world.
Here is a profound and empowering truth — elements within your grasp can shape your life like a sculptor, shaping clay into a masterpiece.
Life is unpredictable, but the great news is we possess a potent arsenal of control over our words, actions, behavior, attitude, perspective, focus, effort, energy, and responses.
These elements define who we are and the life we lead. As we embrace this power, we realize that true happiness and fulfillment lie in focusing on what we can control, leaving us better equipped to confront the challenges beyond our grasp.
All the best.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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