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“Tis but a flesh wound” from Monty Python, encompasses the idea of taking pain in stride. Of course, this is figuratively speaking, your arm gets chopped off best place to be is a hospital. Life can be painful, oftentimes, from physical pain to mental pain there’s a lot to go around. On the topic of men, and their modern-day woes, much of our pain comes from one, caring what the external world thinks, and two, taking it personally. Much of our pain comes from placing tremendous value on the thoughts and feelings of others that may or may not be a reality.
When considering the thousands of years of pain and punishment humans and the environment have inflicted on one another, it’s truly incredible we’ve made it this far. There have been famines, diseases, wars, social upheaval, and general bad luck, all in the name of progress or simply in an effort to set us back.
My mother has a saying “distraction is the antidote to despair,” I’d find this rang true more often than not. When I’m engaged in what I’m doing, I pay little to no attention to my surroundings; I’m not concerned as to what I’m going to be doing Friday, if she meant what she said, if my path is the right one, the present moment takes control.
There are many ways to say the same thing, “take it in stride,” “it is what it is,” or recently the reintroduction of the Stoic philosophy, to an extent. I’d like to refer to the Persian adage you’re familiar with, “this too shall pass,” you get the idea? Let’s try another, the Beatles song “Let It Be,” the same thing.
We so often want to cling to things, as if they’re solid, unchanging. In reality, most things, people, places, words, are phantoms, they’re there then they’re gone. Perhaps the structure may still stand, the article remains on the website, or your old friend is visiting once again, but there’s constant change behind all these things and they can’t be what they once were. That pizza joint has a new staff, the author’s perspective changed since the article was published, your friend has pursued different hobbies.
To be present in the moment, detached from what was or what may be, makes life much simpler and oftentimes more meaningful. People’s opinions, and the potential reality of things should be of little to no concern as things will play out consequentially devoid of your thoughts on the matter.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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