Talent

There’s often this inner conflict we have with ourselves. When we see something that amazes us on TV or read/hear something that awes, we often say to ourselves, “I wonder how cool it would be to do that”. We often can’t stop ourselves from comparing and wonder: were they always that good?

I was going through my contacts’ status as I usually do whenever I’m bored or need a distraction, when I saw a meme a friend posted that basically said “God what is my talent?” I couldn’t help laughing at how much I could relate to that.

What is my talent

I grew up around people who could dance, sing, play sports, and all other fun stuff, even cook. Everyone seemed to have a talent, except me. Well, all I seemed to have going for me were books (I did well in school and I was also good at writing). Also, I was such a huge talkative, but those weren’t stuff that impressed people. Being smart would impress an adult, sure, but not people around my age. Not people I wanted as my friends.

Even though I could talk a lot, I couldn’t tell a joke and I couldn’t even rap. Few people liked a talkative, especially one who said nothing interesting. And as for writing, well, who cared if you could write when that girl over there had a voice that could make Angels cry?

As we grew older and started learning of professions, it was only natural that we would want to venture into areas we were good at. I wanted to be a writer but here’s the funny part: I didn’t even think writing was a talent.

To me, a talent was something that made me standout, something that made me see attractive, eccentric. That wasn’t writing. Writing was something I did because it was the only thing I was good at — That and my studies . When it seemed like more and more people were catching up to me in class, I focused more and more on my writing. Like a tired swimmer clinging on to a lifeline. I wanted to stand out badly, to have something that made me unique, made me attractive to people.

So, even when I went online and learnt that there were A LOT more talents than singing and dancing—talents like public speaking, critical thinking, emotional intelligence, and forms of literature writing — I still didn’t consider them as talents. It didn’t also help that I strongly believed that if you needed to learn something, then you never really had it. And there’s just something about being naturally good at something that appeases us.

Now, I hear people close to me tell me how lucky I am to have such a talent, and that word feels strange to me. I never thought I’d be able to put my name and the word “talent” together unless it came attached with “-less”.

Now, it doesn’t even feel like a talent. I can’t exactly remember if I was born good at it or if some experience made me learn.

In today’s world where we’re surrounded by prodigies and adolescent minds making waves, it’s easy for an adult to feel like they wasted their youth and it’s easy for teenagers to feel pressured to make a name for themselves. Everyone, deep down, has a need to feel unique, some might even say, different.

What many of us do not realize, what I didn’t realize, was: we don’t need a “talent” to be special, and just because we do not seem to be naturally good at something, does not mean we will be unhappy, it does not take away our individuality. Chances are, you’ve heard this many times before. That’s what I thought also. Just a “feel good” speech they give at seminars so you feel don’t hate yourself. Studies have shown there is little to no correlation between high IQ and a successful life.

While I believe everyone has a talent, not everyone learns to use it properly. Talent without proper refining remains basic and the higher you go, the more you realize that talent alone doesn’t cut it. That means: the more you’ll be exposed to people who worked to get where they are, and that’s also when you will doubt yourself a lot (if you’ve been getting by so far through talent). You probably thought there would be no use for such effort. You were born with it, so you’ll always be good at it, but now you’ve reached a stage where good just isn’t gonna cut it.

I wish I could say I had a solution; I don’t. What I do have is some nice plain facts for you to drink up or spit out: In the end, most people don’t end up doing jobs that are in line with their talent. Maybe because of the shock they could never recover from, when they realized that talent just wasn’t enough. Maybe it’s because of something else, some sad accident. Being good at something also doesn’t guarantee happiness in it. Most people don’t end up using that talent, and as time passes you slowly come to realize that talent, isn’t as important as you once though it was. You’re special with or without it.

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Previously published on medium

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