Ten Reasons Not To Watch Super Bowl LII.

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1. Avoid being entertained by men causing each other brain damage.

2. Avoid watching how many women now dress like men wearing the garb of the loyal football fan.

3. Avoid noticing how little female cheerleaders are wearing and how there are no male cheerleaders.

4. Avoid watching the results of men who bet on multiple aspects of the game, (far beyond the final score), who fix outcomes through bribes and threats.

5. Avoid watching the illusion, believed by many men, that Bud Light doesn’t taste more like urine than beer.

6. Avoid watching men doing silly dances in end zones and elsewhere, pretending that they were just overcome with the joy of success.

7. Avoid missing time you could have spent talking to a man face to face by settling for talking to him out of the side of your mouth as you both watch a screen.

8. Avoid watching some tribute to men and women in the Armed Forces in harm’s way in a place you have no idea as to why they are there.

9. Avoid watching to avoid encouraging a man to eat the junk food garbage that men traditionally eat to celebrate the biggest male holiday of the year.

10. Avoid watching with male children to avoid having them dream of inflicting brain damage on their grown-up male friends one day, by playing football, in the hope of getting the attention of a nearly naked cheerleader.

I’ve been watching the Super Bowl for 51 one years. This man has seen enough.

If you must watch do not:

• Think that those helmets that the players wear do much more than help a player believe that some other player will get their brain damaged.
• Think that there once was a day when women convinced their male partners not to wear a football jersey if they weren’t playing in the game.
• Think that men don’t like to cheerlead and cheerleading women wouldn’t appreciate less skin exposure.
• Think that what looks like a move right out of a professional wrestling playbook isn’t and what appears to be a bad referee call wasn’t just that.
• Think that Bud Light is acquired taste.
• Think that men secretly want to dance like that in front of millions, for millions.
• Think that screens aren’t in control of how you talk to a man much.
• Think that the NFL cares about soldiers.
• Think that the wrong foods and lack of exercise beyond rising up off of the coach when a touch down is scored, doesn’t do much that affects a man’s health.
• Think that children get football on their own.

Perhaps I am being a bit harsh on the Super Bowl, but my guess is that my over 50-year enjoyment of the spectacle has made me not harsh enough. Truth is I may sneak a peek, just to see how bad it is.

What is sad is how little the empowerment of traditionally female values has had on the popularity of the Super Bowl. There has been a tremendous growth in female interest in the big event. This interest has had little effect on it other than a male interest in explaining football to women and women wearing football jerseys too.

It is difficult to think of a single event which has been significantly changed by female empowerment. For now, any family gathering that includes some “no looking at screens” time is to be applauded, by whoever makes that happen.

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Photo: Getty Images