How does guilt affect our ability to effectively parent our children?
1. Say “Yes” Only When You Want To
You want to please everyone, but you end up disappointed in yourself. Don’t say “Yes” unless you absolutely want to. If someone tries to make you feel bad about it, remember that they are more concerned about their own agenda.
2. Think Before You Speak
Before you communicate, think about what you are going to say. Make sure you communicate clearly so that your family fully understands the information you want to share. It’s better to prevent an argument or disagreement than to try to retract what you have said.
3. Establish and Enforce Personal Boundaries
Make sure that your family are clear on what you will and will not accept from them. Be specific about your boundaries. Don’t assume people can read your mind. Speak up about anything that displeases or offends you.
4. Have a Sense of Humor
Some people use sarcasm to make other people feel bad intentionally and unintentionally. Be witty when someone uses sarcasm to make you feel bad. Laugh it off or make a joke about it. Have the upper hand in the situation.
5. Have Self Respect
Your opinion, time, and values are important. Your children are looking to you as an example of who they can be in the future. Show them that you have pride in who you are and of your accomplishments.
6. Keep Your Promises
Honor your promises. Unless you have an emergency, stick to your promise. Be fully committed to the promise by prioritizing what is most important to you.
7. Take Care of Your Feelings First
Do you put other people’s feelings first? Each time you do, you give away a little of your personal power and self respect. By protecting someone’s fragile ego, you are neglecting your needs.
8. Don’t Make Assumptions
You don’t know for sure what someone else is feeling or thinking. The only way to know is to ask. Don’t think for your children. Assumptions can lead to worry which leads to fear. Assuming you know what is going on without having details can only spiral into chaos.
9. Forgive Yourself
We all make mistakes. Give up blaming and berating yourself. If you hold on to them, it is difficult to move forward and let go of the past.
10. Do Your Best
You can’t please everyone. Sometimes you can’t win, no matter what choice you make. You don’t need to justify your choices. If you’ve done your best, that’s all that matters.
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