That Sunday Afternoon

‘I never wish to be easily defined’.

There were times we bumped into each other on Sunday afternoon, I got so many tasks, blatantly understood and found myself lingering over the bench to the other bench, asking what I should’ve or could’ve done. You are just minding your business, handling a camera behind the venue. Pretty sure, not noticing me not needing to. And how could you stand tall behind the crowd, yet look so beautiful? I guess you must be god’s favorite child. Like maybe God smiled a little longer
when making you.

Jeremy, my senior, asked me to do a simple favor, asking everyone how they picture one another for a late wrapup session.

What do you think of each person?, Yet that one idea makes me actually scream in silence. Because I don’t care what anyone else thinks — only yours matters.

Dup-Dup-Dup

I walk with careful steps toward you, trying so hard to hide my smile, and nervous in case you could hear my heart beating crazy.

_______

“Hi, I want a ask several questions. Are u down for it? It’s actually Jeremy’s favor — .. for wrapup session.” I almost kill myself for stuttering. No, i want a ask u if u mind to have a longer conversation with me? Suddenly, a bunch of topic flashes through my mind.

oh noo I should focus.

“Yeah sure. What kind of questions?” he moved his camera and looked at me. I could see your big brown eyes through my glasses. I can’t help but be curious. What’s on your mind?

Maybe how long your camera battery last for this event? or when do you plan to gather all the pictures before the end of the event? or maybe what do you plan to eat for dinner today? am I too little intrusive?

“So, what’s your opinion on every committee? We could start it with Jeremy.”

He nodded, “Jeremy is crazy ambitious person, we couldn’t do everything perfectly if he weren’t around. its actually good for the event but i think he should care more about his health, he looked doesnt sleep for two day in a row ”

“Okay, next is sherly, indiana, and rico.” I write on my small notebook, trying to look dont care that much.

“Both Sherly and indiana did a great job of accompanying the guest. That must be a call for extroverted people like them. rico should do better on get to the set early. I think I should ask him if there’s any problem because he’s not being himself. We hope we could do better next event, more tighter schedule.. a single missed time will affect one to another.”

I’m shocked, actually I didn’t know you were this type of observant. You looked like someone who doesn’t care at all, but actually always watching quietly, taking in every detail.

“Then, how about me?” i almost jump when i ask that!

“You?” I notice you smile with your upper lip. “You are… diligent.”

I bluffed, there’s laughter in my head. Oh God, I never wish to be so easily defined to you. I‘d rather float between your thoughts, half-formed and eternal. I didn’t want to be a conclusion you reached, a box you could check off, a sentence you underlined with a final cross-out. I’d rather you see me as complicated — so I might stay in your mind a little longer. Morphed into a question you never quite know how to answer. Something that lingers,
even when the room is empty.

“oh thankyou” I smile at the end. So suddenly, I hate that word — diligent. you seem not really interested in me at all. — “.. I think that’s all, I should go back to my work.” I closed my notebook and turned around. Trying to catch my breath. What a long cry I would shed this weekend.

“So, how about me?” you asked right before I turned around. I looked at him, my sanity was trying to say ‘don’t you dare to say it’, but I blew it —

“you, looked more complicated than it seems. But strangely, I like you.”

Oh God, I never wish to be so easily defined to you. I‘d rather float between your thoughts, half-formed and eternal. And now looked at me, questioning myself. How much do I write a poem about you? So silly.

(2025/May)

written by UCAA