Every day people are being lied to and deceived by their partners. They’re told their love is unconditional and they’ll be with that person forever, but that’s not always the case.
People put their life on hold because they believe in this lie. They move on and put their future plans on hold because they think their partner is the one they’re going to spend the rest of their life with. But some people have tried to make it work and still couldn’t get over those lies.
It’s time to wake up and smell the coffee because these lies are destroying relationships and destroying lives too. It might not be too late for you
It’s hard to find real love these days. With all the uncertainty and confusion in life, it’s getting increasingly difficult to understand the difference between a healthy relationship and one that doesn’t have a future.
Why Are There So Many Lies About Love?
There are many lies about love, and it can be difficult to know which ones are true. Some people might say that the best relationships are long-distance relationships, or that you need to wait a few months before telling someone you love them. But is this true?
The truth is that there are no rules cast in stone for relationships. There are some general guidelines, but these can change depending on the person or situation. You should never feel like you have to follow a rule if it doesn’t feel right for you and your partner.
The most common lie in relationships is saying that you love someone when you don’t really feel that way. This lie is often told because people want to make their partner happy or they want to avoid hurting their feelings.
When it comes to love and relationships, there are many lies that people tell themselves. Some of the most common lies are related to turn-offs in a relationship. These can be anything from height differences to personality traits that one might find annoying.
There is also the lie that everyone has a soulmate and will eventually find them. This is not true as people can be compatible with more than one person but not have a connection with them for various reasons.
The truth is that relationships are complex and take work from both parties involved in them. People might lie about their feelings or needs because they don’t feel like they deserve better or want to admit that they didn’t make the best decision in choosing their partner.
Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash
15 Most Destructive Lies People Tell About Love that Destroy Relationships
People tell these lies because they want to avoid feeling pain or guilt. They don’t want to have the hard conversation that needs to be had in order for the relationship to continue on a healthy track.
Relationship lies are common and it is important to know that they are not the only thing that can destroy relationships. Lies may be small and harmless, but lies about love can be really destructive.
These lies are often told as a way of making ourselves feel better.
However, these lies often have a negative impact on the relationship because it creates an unrealistic expectation of the other person and then we get disappointed when they don’t live up to those expectations.
We need to stop telling these lies so that we can start having healthy relationships with people who deserve it.
We have all heard the phrase “love is blind.” But when it comes to relationships, it’s not just our vision that’s impaired. We often may not see the warning signs or red flags indicating a relationship is not going well.
Here are 15 of the most common lies people tell about love and why they’re so damaging:
1) “I think I’m in love.”
You may believe you’re in love with somebody, but it’s likely that you just have feelings of infatuation and romantic attachment.
2) “I have to be perfect to find love.”
You’re more likely to find someone who loves you for who you are than somebody who is perfect for you.
3) “I’m going to get over my ex.”
You believe you are going to move on from your previous partner, but due to the nature of infatuation and romantic attachment, it often prolongs itself.
4) “I can’t trust my heart.”
The truth is, your heart is often the best judge of whether to stay or leave a relationship.
5) “He’s the one.”
If you believe your partner is “the one,” you’re likely to stay in a relationship that’s not good for you because the lie tells you that the person really is “the one.”
6) “I should be more patient.”
You’re convinced that if only people would give you a chance, then things would get better. But patience is a muscle that needs to be exercised in order for it to strengthen. Moreover, people’s patience is limited. You’ll spend a lot of time waiting for them to change, and eventually, you’ll give up because it’s just not happening.
7) “But I don’t want to be in love.”
You may not feel like you deserve love or that you’re good enough for it. We often tell ourselves that there’s no chance of us getting into a relationship because we’re broken or not worthy of it. If you truly don’t want to be in love, then that’s fine. There are other ways to be fulfilled and happy without love.
8) “I just want sex.”
Is that really what you wanted? Sex is not the end-all and be-all of relationships. It is important, but it can only go so far when you don’t know someone on a deeper level. Love is more than just sex; it’s about companionship, intimacy, and connection.
9) “If we were meant to be together then we will find each other.”
You’re convinced that if you just keep trying, one day you’ll magically find someone who’s right for you. Love doesn’t work that way. The key to finding love is to be open to meeting new people and giving yourself permission to be single so you can meet someone who’s right for you.
10) “I don’t think I have feelings for you.”
Scared that you care? Afraid of intimacy? Nervous about needing another person or wanting to rely on them too much? Lying to yourself and others can make it easier on your mind and your heart.
If you say “I don’t feel anything for this person,” then that’s what you’re going to believe, not the truth. And once you start believing a lie, it’s really hard to get out of.
11) “I don’t want to feel like I’m being pulled away from my friends/family.”
If you’re worried about what people would think or how it would impact your life, then that might be a reason you’re trying not to get into a relationship.
But if you truly believe that you can’t be with someone without hurting the people you love, then that’s not true. You have to decide what’s more important for you and why staying with your friends and family is more important.
It might not be easy or it might break your heart, but it could also mean something bigger for them too.
12) “I don’t want to be alone .”
You’re convinced that you need to have a relationship in order to not feel lonely and unhappy, but the problem is that you’ve made the decision to stay in a relationship without truly considering whether it’s right for you. If you’re willing to risk being by yourself, then it’s natural that there may be times when it feels really difficult and lonely.
13) “I’m afraid of the pain.”
You’re convinced that you need to be loved in order to avoid pain, but what you’re really doing is protecting yourself from experiencing your own emotions and making decisions that are harmful. If you’re willing to risk feeling the depth of your feelings, then it’s natural that there may be a lot of pain along with the joy.
14) “We need to break up so I can find myself again.”
Breaking up is hard, but you’re convinced that if you break up now, who knows what kind of person you’ll end up with. This lie leads to people staying in relationships that are no longer fun or fulfilling for them in order to avoid the pain of separation and loss.
15) “My partner isn’t good enough”
People think this way because they have a high standard for themselves and don’t want to settle for less than what they deserve, which is understandable but it doesn’t help the relationship.
Photo by Lalit Kumar on Unsplash
Stop Recruiting Yourself to the Lie Factory and Start Building a Relationship with Truth
Don’t lie to yourself. The Lie Factory doesn’t care. It’s a factory where people come and do the work that needs to be done. The Lie Factory is a metaphor for the false realities we construct, the pseudo-relationships we have with others, and the fragile egos we build inside our own heads.
When you’re working with The Lie Factory, you’re not only feeding it every day but you’re also feeding off of it. Get outside of the factory by building a relationship with Truth.
The Lie Factory is a story about who we’ve become when we don’t know what else to do, how we can disconnect from it, and how we can learn to live in the present moment.
Has the image of a person being tortured or killed by someone or something ever triggered you?
Imagine being in a relationship where your partner is constantly making false promises and lying to you. This is no way to live and it’s not good for your mental health.
If this sounds like the type of situation that you’ve been in then you urgently need to reclaim your inner goodness and start living a life with truth, love, and loyalty.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
|White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism||Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box||The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer||What We Talk About When We Talk About Men|
Photo credit: Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash