The 3 Secrets of Making Friends Everywhere

When we were young, it was all about getting invited to the birthday party. It was all about getting picked whenever there was a game. We got older, now the games are different but their form is the same! Our desperate need to belong to a group.

I make friends very quickly. I moved to the United States and my social skills were even more challenged . Not only did I accomplish all of them, but also I became even more confident in my skills. In this article I want to tell you 3 tricks which help you make friends everywhere .

The worst mistake I made

There are different mindsets about how you should choose your friends. My strategy is getting friends with every possible person and then finding the people whom you have the most in common with.

Before knowing the secrets, I want to tell you the mistake that you’re probably going to make. It took a lot of time until I really learned from it.

I used to have a few friends in school. I didn’t have that many friends. Then, I attended university. I started dealing with people differently and then I had more and more friends. What I didn’t know was “not all the people you think are your friends are actually your friends”

When it comes to trust, you should be really careful. Even about the information which you think does not matter that much. The biggest issues I faced came from not being careful about what I said — and to whom.

1- Your first impression should be friendly .

It doesn’t matter if you’re tired or you had a bad day. Try as hard as you can to look friendly.

Smiling and being warm always help.
Watch your tone.
Try not to give people the vibe “I can’t care less about you”!

You don’t need to become somebody’s bestie in 30 seconds but you need to be positive and interested in what the person says (unless they act in a way which you don’t like and don’t want to be friends with)

If you fail in the first impression, it can be kinda hard to turn the tables later.

2- Ask questions.

This one is a tricky one! There’s a fine line between being nosy and being interested. Asking questions directs the conversation. It makes people feel they are important and it also breaks the awkward silence .

Avoid personal questions .

Please ! Avoid ANY kind of personal questions. As long as you keep the questions general, you’re safe.

Base your questions from what they say.

This one is very helpful. It makes you a better listener and also makes you look interested.

3- Refuse oversharing .

Sharing important things shows trust. That’s why a lot of us think sharing can bring us close to each other. If you don’t find the line between building trust and oversharing, you probably will have problems making friends.

Signs that you might be oversharing :

-You feel a rush of relief or anxiety right after saying something

-The other person looks uncomfortable

-You’re sharing very personal details early in a relationship

-You notice you’re talking a lot without much back-and-forth

-You walk away feeling kind of exposed, vulnerable, or regretful.

How to not overshare?

Pause for a second and ask yourself :

Is this the right time, place, and person for this story?

At the end

Practice makes perfect! Making friends especially with total strangers can be very challenging, but you’ll become an expert with practice.

Don’t forget :

People love hanging out with someone who makes them feel good about themselves.

If you found these tips helpful, leave a comment and share your own experience — I’d love to hear your story! And if you enjoyed this article, don’t forget to clap and follow me for more tips about building real connections.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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