Miscommunication can be an amazing piece of art to see, as long as you aren’t on the inside.
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Today’s visit is probably familiar to a lot of women, her boyfriend wasn’t talking to her and she was miffed. As it turns out she wasn’t talking to him either, but it was messenger playing the poor delivery man, not any ill will or hurt feelings on either side. So of course, as people are want to do when all they hear is silence, she began to paint a picture with various catastrophes. I’m guessing he did as well. This particular issue has probably plagued every relationship since the beginning of time but the thing I found ironic is they both ended up upset at each other about something neither of them could know or control.
Like most people in today’s society they text each other as a normal form of communication. It’s actually not a bad form of communication, it lets you talk to someone in short bursts and is there for them if they are busy or can’t respond when they receive it. Yet it is prone to the odd failure, lack of service or simply the gods of “Who shall we screw with today.” The trouble is the feedback once a message is sent is notoriously devoid of information. Maybe you get the “Seen” tag underneath the bubble. Perhaps you even see the typing bubble, but just as easily you don’t see either of those at all. So a message was sent, but was it delivered. If so, was it read? Are they ignoring you? Did they send a response and just not get the reply? Are they breaking up with you? Did they die in a horrible car accident? Aaannnnd the long and twisted path to crazy town takes on its yellow brick form.
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Silence doesn’t have noise, it has nothing to tell your paranoia to end, just never ending silence.
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This is the wonderful world of paranoia. A place where probability and likelihood don’t exist and the worse the scenario you can imagine the more weight you place on it as something that may have happened.
Normally most of us have coping mechanisms to reign ourselves in from this sort of thinking but silence is a special trigger. Silence doesn’t have noise, it has nothing to tell your paranoia to end, just never ending silence. Of course you could just make a phone call and sort it all out, but I think there is something perverse about paranoia that stops people from doing this. I reckon it’s like a deer stuck in the headlights too afraid to move. You can’t pick up that phone because then your worst fears will be confirmed. Of course it could also mean that you find out that messenger isn’t working, but what if it’s a car accident, or worse, a terrorist attack in suburbia no-where land and hundreds of people have died.
So now of course both of them are in a strange place. After finding out that her boyfriend hadn’t perished in a meteor crash her feelings are a little hurt and bent, probably a little embarrassed as well. He is probably feeling the same. So now they have that relationship quietness that comes along when both realize their feelings are hurt, they have attached those feelings to their partner yet in reality those feelings belong attached to their faith in technology. They are both aware they let the silence get the better of them and neither can really admit to themselves that the only person to blame is them.
This readers, is the Art of Miscommunication. Miscommunications happen all the time and in the normal course of a conversation you simply ask for clarification and the story ends. Yet to truly turn miscommunication into an art form you have to invest yourself into the gap, into the silence. Your canvas is paranoia, your brush is made of the feelings of hurt, guilt, shame or dread and the vista painted is fertilized by a fully powered creative brain.
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Laugh at the fact your artwork could be the next plot twist in a romantic comedy.
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It doesn’t have to be like that though. Miscommunication is an art form after all. My friend could have just as easily imagined that he was planning a New Year’s Eve surprise, or that he wanted to see her earlier in the day. She could have used a brush made from trust, happiness, love and respect as easily as the other feelings. She could have painted a different picture with that very capable brain of hers. She could have gone to meet him tonight looking forward to see what the silence was all about rather than worrying about what was going on. Sadly I think we choose the artwork based on our biggest insecurities rather than our biggest dreams.
So if you ever find yourself surrounded by a work of art, find yourself in a painting created in silence and misunderstanding. Have a good long laugh at yourself; laugh at how amazing you are to create something so powerful from nothing. Laugh at the fact your artwork could be the next plot twist in a romantic comedy. Don’t feel hurt at your partner, or take it out on them. They didn’t create the painting in your head, you did. Frame it and hang it up for all to see. When friends come round point to it and tell them about your trip to crazy town, tell them about characters like me you met along the way. I get a lot of visitors in crazy town, trust me you aren’t the first one to come wandering in. Better yet use it as a reminder to choose your brush a little more carefully next time.
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Photo: Getty Images
*A minstrel was a medieval European bard who performed songs whose lyrics told stories of distant places or of existing or imaginary historical events. Although minstrels created their own tales, often they would memorize and embellish the works of others. The Modern Minstrel observes the world around him and shares it with us as lyrical story. This series was inspired by Luke Davis, whose eye for story and ear for lyrical prose are featured here.
Also by Luke Davis
 What A Man Wants In A Marriage |
 What it Takes to See a Man’s Feelings |
 Have You Seen a Man’s Heart? |
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