The Ball & Chain of Imagined Conclusions

FALSE IMAGINATIONS

“As I talk with my soul brother, he tells me he can’t believe no one is responding at his job. He’s a CEO. Everyone has gone missing. No one is performing. Despite my assurances to wait to discover the reasons he won’t have it. He puts plans into motions. He gets ready to hold people accountable. Expectations will be met. At his emergency meeting he finds out one person was in the hospital, another just went through an earthquake, his lead attorney was told by his 30-year wife unbeknownst to him they will get a divorce, & his financial executive’s father just died.”

LOVE WORKS LIKE THIS

The way you do anything is how you do everything. The above characteristics happen in romantic relationships frequently. Often, when we experience a bodily sensation, it rushes us with emotion. It is common to focus on the expectations of a particular outcome in lieu of the intention. The result of outcome over intention can result in anger, fear, sadness or hurt. These emotions spawn from rejection or lack of acceptance.

My personal experience has shown in nearly all instances when people I know experienced “rejection” it was due to someone rejecting their expectations (not rejecting the actual person).

It is both common and unfortunate to create imagined conclusions in our minds about events which do not provide full details. My soul brother committed this error in his business. But I can name a number of these situations which frequently occur in marriage.

WE DO NOT KNOW THE ‘WHY’ BEHIND MOST CURRENT EVENTS

More often than not we do not know the reason behind a current event. Nearly all events in relationships lack evidence in the present. We merely assume.

Our minds tend to assume the negative at the moment of occurrence. When the mind assumes the negative it is often labeled suspicion. If the mind assumes the positive it is typically labeled hope. Both lack evidence but are starkly different.

THE RESULTS OF HOPE VS SUSPICION

Hope is wise. Suspicion uncertain. Hope waits for evidence to draw a conclusion. Suspicion assumes based on personal historical probabilities. Hope experiences hurt but never regret. Suspicion experiences hurt and regret. Think of regret like hurt x 100 because it results in unnecessary actions from initial hurt which brings the assumer more hurt. My advice? Spare yourself regret. You will already experience plenty of hurt in your life.

In a previous article I discussed the consequences of suspicion at length. The results are staggering and well researched. Take a dive if you’re interested to see the points substantiated above.

What Choosing Hope Does:

· It gives better odds at success. Someone who always thinks things will work out tends to do better in life. By that I mean positivity is contagious. Just like negativity feeds off more negativity so does positivity. You will attract positive people. Trust me.

· It spares you unnecessary pain. The only thing worse than being hurt is being hurt for no reason. That is what suspicion will bring you. While patience to know the truth before acting will not always award you with protection from hurt — hope will spare you unnecessary pain. The trick is accepting wisdom in the hurtful lesson so you do not repeat it again.

· It builds a stronger long-term relationship. False accusations and gaslighting are the fastest ways to end a long-term relationship. I’m certain you do not value, appreciate or desire being accused of something you did not do. Even if it was because of the way it looked versus the way it actually was. Extend this courtesy to your spouse.

Three Ways To Choose Hope Over Suspicion (Use Them)

1. Ask Yourself What Can You Prove. Most of the time we will come up with no proof when we ask what ourselves what we can prove. This is a sobering dose of reality. Your initial impulses are often rooted in nothing. Only fools make permeant decisions based on nothing. Don’t be a fool.

2. Remind Yourself Who Owns Your Feelings. Last time I checked your feelings are inside you. They come from inside your body. That means you get to choose what feelings you feel. Not others.

3. Become Curious Not Angry. Choose a desire to know the truth. Avoid the choice of becoming angry when you don’t know the truth. Anger is a sign of losing control. Curiosity is a sign of determination. Become determined, do not become out of control. Seek to know the truth not assume what you want to justify your impulsive feelings.

The Value of This Philosophy

· This allows you to challenge possible misconception and reinforces positive assumptions over negative assumptions. (2)

· You can always choose your feelings. Do not release ownership of your feelings to others. It is unhealthy and makes you unstable.

· Learning the truth before acting makes you pause before reacting which reduces stress and makes you feel more relaxed. (3)

IN CLOSING

I do not wish my personal circumstances on anyone. It is for this reason that now I am the ultimate authority on what not to do. My much-anticipated new book “Turning Indictments To Dollars” talks about how to avoid the pitfalls I suffered. If you are accused of something you know you didn’t do — this book will offer you the path which grants you success. Trust me you will want to Sign up for free during the pre-release period to take advantage of unique $0.99 pricing on launch.

Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit”. You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight.

The concept I teach in this article is free. Some of my personal stories are not free of charge as everything costs something. The techniques I discuss in this article I use. The purpose of reading this is to teach people how to spare themselves from regret.

If you are experiencing hurt in a relationship, it’s critical you read this. I leave you with a quote from Marcus Aurelius to capture the essence of the three techniques I teach above, “Kill your false imagination. Cut the puppet strings. Confine yourself to the present. Strive to truly understand yourself and others. Divide everything into material and causation. Think of your final hour. Let wrongdoings lay with the wrongdoers, not with you.” (4)

Learn the three techniques above and liberate yourself from regret. Let me know in the comments if it was helpful.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.

2) Work Learning Research. “The Learning Benefits of Questions”. Will Thalheimer PhD. 2003–2014. Somerville, MA USA.

3) Rosenfeld RS, Hellman L, Roffwarg H, Weitzman ED, Fukushima DK, Gallagher TF: Dehydroisoandrosterone is secreted episodically and synchronously with cortisol by normal man. J Clin Endocrinol Metab 1971; 33:87–92

4) Marcus Aurelius. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. The New Translation By Del Ray Kochon. Decameron Books. ISBN 978–1–936767–79–3

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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. Certain elements of this narrative may have been fictionalized to convey message points. This is a work of artistic expression not a narrative of fact. Strictly for entertainment and informational purposes only.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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