
I had a conversation with a friend about a medium she follows.
The medium claimed that people showing resistance to our opinion does not indicate us being wrong. It is not a sign we should question our stand and re-position to move closer to a generally established paradigm.
It means we are creating a distance between our beliefs, which is normal when we learn new things and grow.
When we grow, we change within the environment. If the environment does not change with us (or change in any way), a gap forms and widens. As we humans are naturally inclined to resist change, we try to avoid those gaps, too.
Trying to draw conclusions on the diversity of people’s thinking, I cannot pass by some who do not tolerate it.
My friend noticed that difference and resistance is a proof of growth.
If we grow faster than others, differences and friction are inevitable.
When we grow, we also want to involve those close to us. That cannot be done by force. We need to engage with them intelligently and empathetically.
Calmly, supportively, and slowly we need to give them time to overcome the difference between us.
While at the same time, we need to be aware of the additional opportunities for our growth.
As I am convinced, no one is ever 100% right or wrong. There is always room for further growth and improvement.
When approaching others, we need to be alert to minor differences. Those can mean advantages or correctnesses in their position, and thus opportunities for improvement for ours.
The like-minded
I also have to think about those with which there is no friction or resistance. Objectively speaking, those people are the least useful to us.
First, they are probably on the same level (or approaching) as we are and thus do not represent a real opportunity for us to progress. But that can affect our objectivity.
Second, (for whatever reasons) they can fake understanding.
I don’t want to belittle the like-minded. But since we are naturally more inclined to spend our time with those we agree with, I have to think about it.
They are not more (or less) valuable to us. Being surrounded by like-minded people often shows in various forms of fanaticism, where the followers do not understand the point but blindly follow some belief.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Cherrydeck on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
