I took the kids out to feed the ducks today. — Something we haven’t done in years. It was a relief to have a day off to do those little things that matter so much. Watching my son’s face light up, as the seagulls swirled around us waiting to catch a piece of stale bread in the air.. well, it just doesn’t get any better than that.
Life is all about those simple, spontaneous and irreplaceable moments.
I love my job. You all know how much caregiving has changed my perspective on things. Even so, some days are heavy. I am finding that my worst days make the best stories. So instead of trying to escape them, I am grateful for the life lessons they bring.
It is an honor to have something to say and feel like someone is listening.
I spend every Sunday with my client, D, in her double-wide mobile home where she lives alone with her cat. Her house is bigger than mine, packed to the ceiling with stuff, and has three fewer people in it.
No doubt D is an introvert at heart. But over the last five months, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her come out of her shell one Sunday at a time. We’ve spent many afternoons together laughing in nail salons and chatting on her couch about cats. — I’ve gotten to know the many different sides to her. There’s the sweet and nerdy side. And the down-to-earth and witty-as-hell side.
A few weeks ago I saw a side I wasn’t ready for. The part of my job that makes my heart ache. The lonely, scared and inevitable side to life, death.
D’s cousin and I took apart her bed that night and replaced it with a hospital bed. I held the headboard steady while he pulled apart the old bed frame. The air was heavy with reality and we all knew what we were doing there.
Shit. She’s getting ready to..
D sleeps a lot these days. I wake her for her meds, bring her scrambled eggs and ginger toast in the morning, and I pin her hair back so she can eat. When she musters up enough energy to shuffle to the bathroom, I quickly change her wet sheets and put a dry nightgown on her. Then I kneel beside the bed so can tell me all about the new book she’s reading.
I make sure my sweet client has everything she needs within arms-reach before I leave.
On my way out that night, she grabbed my hand and said, “Thank you.”
I placed my other hand on top of hers and said, “You are so welcome.”
On the days I wait for her to wake up and need something, the house is hauntingly quiet. I sit in the front room and listen to the wintery blow of the heater turning on and off. I hear the seconds ticking away on the little clock above the TV. I realize I’m surrounded by stacks of Amazon boxes overflowing with things that she’s never going to use.
I realize how insignificant all those things really are in the end.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of darkness slowly creeping its way down the long hallway into her bedroom. My mind starts to wander.
What’s going to happen to all her stuff when she’s gone?
That’s when it hit me that I needed a listicle to help keep things in perspective.
The Best Things In My Life
1. Practicing gratitude.
2. Being kind.
3. Being honest.
4. Playing with my kids (like really playing with them and getting lost in that moment).
5. Writing.
6. Reading.
7. Running.
8. Laughing and having lots of unladylike sex with my husband.
9. Not buying sh*t I don’t need.
10. Giving more than I take.
11. Learning how to manage my time/energy.
12. Staying connected to good people.
13. Taking care of myself as well as I take care of other people.
I consider myself a healthy thirty-six-year-old woman, with (mostly) reasonable impulses for retail therapy depending on the day.
But really, who cares about stuff?
Things are just things.
The best keepsakes in life aren’t things at all. They are simple, spontaneous and irreplaceable moments.
Thank you for reading. ❤
D
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Previously published on medium
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Talk to you soon.
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