I get excited about blind dates.
Nervous? Of course, meeting someone new is lightning to my nervous system.
It increases the chances of me bailing on plans at the last minute. Not cool. I know; I’m working on it.
When the blind date is doing well, you laugh, chat, and eat all night. If not, there is no happy ending:
- You lie about having an emergency.
- You skip dessert because you have an early morning.
- You are upfront. Tell the person it won’t work.
But joy and eye contact don’t mean the date went well. Here is what matters.
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Not The Signal of Love
Not everyone is like Amber Heard.
Some ordinary people can land fake expressions like an Oscar winning actor.
Smiles and good vibes do not give a valid representation of how your blind date feels about you.
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The Study
A 2021 blind date study recruited 70 single women and men between the ages of 18 to 38.
At random, participants got assigned a partner. They never saw each other until the divider got dropped.
They engaged in 2-minute verbal and non-verbal interaction on the date. Afterward, the participants answer two questions:
- What was their attraction to the person?
- Would they want to go on a second date?
The researchers learned facial responses were all controllable. Control makes figuring out if they like you challenging. What is a pure giveaway of someone’s attraction to you?
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The True Marker of Attraction
Nervousness.
The study results confirm a message I have shared in my relationship articles. I have often said, “Being nervous shows you care.”
But Annie, I cannot rest my hand on my date’s beating heart to know if they like me.
But Annie, I cannot tell if my date is copying my actions involuntarily.
True. Instead, there will be other signs.
- A heart beating so hard you see their shirt or dress shake.
- Out of breath with no physical exertion.
- A stutter. Hard to think or get words out.
If they are a master at hiding their emotions, sit forward in your chair. For your sake, I hope they match this action. Reach for their hand to feel for a pulse.
That’s how you will get your answer.
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Will The Blind Date Work Out?
It can go either way.
Is the blind date’s heart racing? Yes. Does your heart race too? Yes.
Two “yes” means a higher chance of you both wanting a second date.
Two “no” or a “yes and no” combination means a lower chance of a second date. It can still happen. But you won’t be as excited about it.
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The Essentials
One important note from the study, men are more attracted to women. The attraction rates were men — 53%, women — 34%, and mutual attraction — 17%.
So, please don’t blame yourself if:
- You like the woman, but it is unrequited.
- You assume the man likes you. Yet, you don’t feel the same.
Remember, mutual liking is around 17%.
I guess that’s why people think blind dates are a waste of time.
Do you think so too?
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Thank you for reading this post to the end.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock.com
