When I was a pastor, I would avoid my email inbox for as long as possible on Monday morning. That’s because I knew that invariably there would be a message from some disgruntled congregant who was ticked off by something from the services the day before.
Betty Bloggs thinks the music was too loud.
Trevor Thurman doesn’t like how you quoted from the NIV translation of the Bible rather than the Old King James.
Bertha Bugg thinks that all the lights need to be turned up during worship because “God is light and in him, there is no darkness.”
And Harold Hollis thinks the temperature of the air-conditioning was set too low.
Dorris Dewitt thinks the sermon was too long.
Buford Booker thinks the sermon was too short.
A good Sunday is one where nobody complains. You breathed a sigh of relief when you managed to get through those first few hours and days post-service without being targeted by some well-meaning parishioner who wants to tell you how to do your job because you’re so damned lousy at it.
That’s the life of many a pastor.
It’s no wonder many are heading for the exit door.
What pastors hate about people in the church
In a fascinating new survey by Lifeway Research, 1000 U.S. protestant ministers were asked to rank the people dynamics in their congregations that are the most challenging or require the most attention today.
It revealed that people with strong opinions about non-essential things (like the version of the Bible the pastor uses, the volume of the music, or the length of the sermon) absolutely drive pastors nuts. 48% of the pastors surveyed said this was a significant challenge for them in their ministry.
But, believe it or not, that’s not the most challenging people dynamic that pastors face.
Not even close.
The most challenging people dynamic that pastors face, according to pastors themselves, is people’s apathy or lack of commitment. 75% of pastors said this was one of their greatest challenges.
“Many people can be a member of a church but not participate in the work of the church,” said Scott McConnell, executive director of Lifeway Research. Sure, pastors often deal with churchgoers with strong opinions, but they’re actually much more concerned about the people in their congregations who don’t seem to care much at all.
And there seems to be plenty of them.
Some of the other challenges that pastors listed as most significant were peoples’ resistance to change, people’s political views, and people with unrealistic expectations of the pastor.
Apathy and church
Walk into your average church service on a Sunday and take a look around. Go on! I dare you. What you will notice is that most people look bored.
Pastors seem to be able to identify it as an issue, but no one seems to be asking why. Why are people apathetic about church?
In fact, the church seems far more concerned with apostasy than apathy. If you want to get some attention in church, say something blasphemous, or do something sinful. But, if you dutifully turn up each week, sit in your pew, and put your offering in the plate, no one will have a problem with you even if you snore all the way through the sermon.
It doesn’t seem to matter that you’re feeling spiritually dead inside.
Sometimes I wonder if the safest place during a zombie apocalypse might be the church because it’s already full of the living dead. When I run the question, “Why are people so bored in church?” through a Google search, I am presented with a whole lot of articles that point an accusing finger firmly at the Christian sitting in the pew. If only your average born-again Joe was more committed or more “on fire” for Jesus.
No one seems to be questioning the system.
However, I want to humbly suggest that there might be a few systemic issues that might contribute to Christian apathy about the church.
It’s irrelevant
Here’s a simple truth. If a message is relevant, people listen. It’s hard not to be engaged if you decide, even at a subconscious level, that what you are being told matters and has ramifications for your life.
The church purports to proclaim the greatest message of all — one that the whole world needs to hear. So, why don’t people care? There are really only two explanations: Either the message is wrong, or the message has been made so bland that people fail to see the relevance. This brings me to my next point:
It’s bland
Let’s pretend for a moment that the message is right. Most churches still choose to deliver their message using some of the scientifically proven least effective ways of communicating — namely, a lecture-style oration delivered by a so-called expert from behind a lectern.
And research supports that view. In fact, within hours of hearing the sermon, you’re likely to remember around 5% of what you were taught — about the same rate as for university lectures.
Christian Blogger, Thom Schulz, did an experiment where he interviewed church-goers on Wednesdays to ask them what they remembered from the previous weekend’s sermons. It’s an older video now, but it displays — in quite a comical way — how most people simply don’t remember the last sermon they heard.
This speaks for itself.
It’s not good news
So much of the church’s messaging centers around the idea that you are a miserable, wretched sinner and the only way you can be saved is through putting your trust in Jesus, who was brutally tortured and killed by God the father instead of you.
Personally, I think a big reason why many people have disengaged from the Christian faith is that the Christian faith has become so enmeshed with the doctrines of sin, punishment, and hell, that it’s simply hard to speak about it as “Good News.” In fact, to hold to the idea that it is “Good News” that anyone who does not receive Christ is destined for an eternal future in firey torment requires a certain level of denial of what would appear to be common sense.
I have written much about my own personal struggles with the idea of Hell. But it seems that many Christians have similar struggles, though fewer are willing to admit it.
It’s repetitive
There are only so many times a person can be told that they are a miserable sinner in need of saving before they start to switch off. Fear and shame are powerful short-term motivators. But, they do not produce fruit that lasts in the long term. Love works much better.
It’s exhausting
Despite the fact that Christians say they believe that we are saved by grace through faith through no work of our own, many churches still push a performance-based version of Christianity.
Their sermons reflect this. They start by explaining how we do life wrong and then present three points on how to do life better. By better, I mean in a way that is supposedly more pleasing to God. As for me, I have decided that God is already pleased, and I don’t have to waste energy trying to please him some more.
It’s exhausting trying to constantly manage my behavior and thoughts through the lens of whether or not they are “pleasing to God.” I prefer to treat my mind as a safe haven for me to think about whatever I want, and I try to run my actions through one simple criterion: Is this a loving thing to do?
I’ve never met anyone who got excited about behavior management.
No surprises here
It’s a tough job being a pastor.
I, for one, am not surprised that pastors report that many of their congregants are apathetic about the church. After all, pastors have inherited a way of doing church that just doesn’t work in our modern world and a theological framework that is hard to sell because it creates cognitive dissonance in most sound-minded people.
Yes, maybe the reason why Christians — indeed, people in general — are apathetic to the church is that the church with its limited emotional capital has the gall to tell them that they are despicable and destined for Hell. Then, they tell people that God offers them salvation for free through the death of his son while simultaneously requiring adherents to jump through a whole bunch of behavioral hoops in order to belong. Finally, they put the heavy on people for not sharing this “good news” with others.
It would be enough to make me quit caring as well.
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This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
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