When I was 17 years old, I acquired my first position as a simple supermarket shop assistant. I was excited about the prospect of earning a wage but equally naive about the dynamics of the workplace.
One day — very early on in my employment — I was stacking Cornflakes onto the shelves when I became aware that someone was standing behind me. I turned around to see the manager of the supermarket.
Without warning, he stepped right into my personal space and leaned in so close that I could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath.
“Who’s your boss?” Spat the manager.
“Umm… you are,” I said, more than a little confused by the question.
“That’s right,” He said, “Now, respect me!”
Then he simply walked off.
. . .
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had just had my first encounter with an insecure manager. I’d like to tell you that his bizarre behaviour was an aberration among managers and leaders in the workplace but that would be untrue.
Sadly, throughout my working life, which now spans several decades, I have worked under my fair share of insecure leaders who have displayed all kinds of inappropriate and destructive human resourcing habits. Chances are, you have as well.
The Signs of An Insecure Leader
A good manager is truly life-giving, but an insecure manager can make your workplace a living hell. In fact, the insecure boss can take a good work environment and completely destroy it, causing good staff to leave and the remainder to completely lose their motivation. Fortunately, there are some tell-tale signs that make the insecure leader fairly easy to spot. My advice to you is, if you find yourself working for one, it’s time to start looking for alternative employment. So what does the insecure leader look like? Here is what to look out for. The insecure leader:
Is Motivated By Fear
Insecure leaders are — above all things — motivated by fear. They are afraid of being viewed as incompetent or ineffective. They are afraid of losing power and position. They are afraid of letting go and losing control. They are afraid that someone might come along who could do the job better than they can. Consequently, they cling to their power with white-knuckled resolve, refusing to give anyone else a look in.
Likes to Remind Everyone Who’s Boss
The example of my supermarket manager is an extreme one, but insecure leaders find ways to stamp their authority on the workplace to remind everyone who is boss.
Sometimes this behaviour manifests in the form of inappropriately harsh words and actions towards an employee. Often it involves selecting a scapegoat from the team and finding something petty or trivial that the manager can use to take an employee down a few notches to prove his or her dominance. This kind of treatment of an employee is usually unwarranted and is simply a power play: “I am your boss! You will respect me!”
Insecure managers believe that making an example of an employee will encourage the rest of the team to do better, when in fact it has the opposite effect. Watching your colleagues suffer public shaming only serves to lower morale and create fear.
Is Afraid to Let Go
This insecure leader is a micro-manager who interferes with, and even takes control of, projects and, as a result, make their employees feel useless at every turn. This is especially true where there is the possibility of very positive results — that the manager would like to take credit for themselves — or the risk of failure, which the manager will fight to avoid at all costs, though only to protect themselves, rather than the employees for which they are ultimately responsible. This leads to the next point.
Takes Credit for Your Wins
The insecure leader will swiftly jump in front of any compliment that’s headed your way, taking credit for your good work in order to leverage their position.
In a 2017 survey of over 1,000 people in the USA, employees were asked to score 24 “typical boss behaviours” from “totally acceptable” to “totally unacceptable. The survey, performed by human resources software firm Bamboo HR, showed that a boss taking credit for an employee’s work was the number 1 most unacceptable behaviour to employees.
Despite this, when things are going well, the insecure manager always steps into the limelight and receives the lion’s share of the glory — your glory. You, on the other hand, would be lucky to get a few crumbs from that table.
Throws You Under the Bus
On the other hand, the insecure leader will just as swiftly jump out of the way of any criticism, and deflect it back onto their staff even though — as manager — they are ultimately responsible for the results.
To protect themselves further, the insecure manager elevates employee mistakes into public lynchings — Cc’ing colleagues, managers and board members in condemning emails, or calling out employees in meetings, often behind the employees back, so that they are unable to defend themselves.
Don’t ever expect the insecure manager to fight for you, back you or defend you in any way, shape or form.
Can’t Handle Feedback
In the unlikely event that the insecure manager is thrust into a position where they receive genuine and honest feedback — a situation they will avoid at all costs — expect a robust and wholehearted defence, rather than an acceptance of responsibility. The insecure leader is highly protective of their position and will justify their performance at all costs.
Surrounds Themselves With “Yes Men”
In order to avoid being challenged in the first place, insecure leaders often surround themselves with “Yes Men,” — a group of people who will agree with them about everything. As much as it depends on them, they will only hand out titles and promotions to those who they believe will never question their authority.
Given the chance, they will interfere with and manipulate recruiting processes in order to get the people that they want. They will recommend this person or that person as a board member, for example, being careful to avoid people who will actually hold them to account for their performance.
Will Not Acknowledge Their Weaknesses
The insecure manager avoids talking about their weaknesses. In fact, they will completely steer clear of any topic that gives someone else the opportunity to outshine them. When they make a mistake, insecure leaders try to cover it up and hope that no one will find out about it. If they can’t, they will deflect it onto another. The insecure leader would never be honest about their weaknesses and mistakes for fear that it could be used against them at a later date.
Conversely, the insecure manager often keeps copious notes on the weaknesses and failures that they perceive in others — particularly those who they find threatening— as a further layer of protective armour against anyone who might care to throw mud their way. In the event someone raises a concern about the manager, the manager simply pulls out the file of supposed dirt that they have, in order to discredit the person with the grievance as an unreliable and untrustworthy person.
Is Ruthlessly Territorial
The insecure leader is manifestly territorial, seeking to keep people under his or her control, in order to protect their own position. Consequently, they are intensely wary of people with strong personalities and influence. They are always on guard for anyone who displays leadership potential and often will cast aspersions about why a person — usually the very person who would make a great leader — would make an inappropriate leader in their opinion. The insecure manager secretly attacks the character and conduct of people who they find threatening, especially to the decision-makers, in order to block the progression of the real up-and-comers in the organization.
Refuses to Make Tough Decisions
The insecure leader is afraid of matters being brought to a head so they do their best to try to avoid anything that might ‘rock the boat.’ They are highly risk-averse. After all, if the boat is rocked, people start asking the dreaded “Why Question,” and the insecure leader wants to avoid that at all costs.
Consequently, they usually deal with conflict in exceptionally unhealthy ways. They triangulate issues, spread rumours and talk behind people’s backs rather than talking to them. They are likely to say one thing to one person and something else to another — depending on what will make them the most secure in their position.
Is it Time to Quit?
If you work under an insecure manager, chances are you have recognized your boss in the characteristics described above. So what can you do about it? You could quit and maybe you should quit. Working under an insecure boss can be nothing short of oppressive, but handing in your resignation is a big decision and one that you may regret if you make it in haste — especially if you have no other plan.
In the meantime though, you’ve got to live with your insecure boss. So, here is one thing to remember. You are not responsible for your boss’s insecurity. It is their internal struggle and it has nothing to do with you. Do not participate in propping up your boss to make them feel more secure. There is nothing that you can do to fix the problem if the problem is not with you.
On the other hand, do focus your energies on doing your job well, being transparent and open with your boss in the process. Communicate respectfully and often because the insecure manager has trust issues. Make sure they are not with you! At the end of the day, when you do move on — hopefully, sooner rather than later — a good recommendation from your old, insecure boss, can go a long way to landing you your next gig, hopefully, under a manager you can trust.
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This post was previously published on The Startup and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Envato Elements