Dennis Williams knows that chances are he will find the right person in the right place at the right time. But where is he supposed to go so that person might show up?
A few days ago I took the time out to listen to Aziz Ansari’s comedy special Buried Alive. Going into the viewing, like anyone else, I went in with anticipation: “You are going to laugh but expect to hear a few off-the-wall jokes.” My theory proved correct until Aziz ventured into a story without a punch line. He told his story of a friend who went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to purchase a plunger. When this guy was leaving the store, he mistakenly walked to the wrong Prius and engaged in a friendly encounter with the female owner of the car who was nearby; that female is now his wife. Even this situation at such a microscopic level showed the gravity of one of the scariest elements of life, chance.
What came after this realization was a flurry of emotions. Not to say the special wasn’t hilarious—but it couldn’t be funny any longer because of the simple fact that I sat alone in a dark room unsociably watching Netflix as my involuntary therapist laughed in my face. I actually became irritated that Aziz didn’t understand the weight of what he has just said; followed by the flooding feeling of fear because I understood. Where am I supposed to be? A question I don’t have the answer to and can’t seem to find it either. Was I supposed to be here watching this? How is it possible that life could veer off into two completely different directions at the hands of undeterminable probability?
The aha was this. I have been trampled with the romantic consequences of logical decisions. Yes, logical. Because I decided to perform extensive research for an editorial I wasn’t able to shop at the supermarket, and as a result I missed the single woman in aisle 8. Because I sit in my office writing this piece my dog won’t be able to enjoy the dog park today where the single mother is watching her puppy run wild. All of these decisions I’ve made are gratifyingly productive but is it what I am supposed to do? After Aziz’s sermon I can’t help but feel like each choice has an equal and opposite reaction.
Although, to play the devil’s advocate that question seems to be forever unfulfilling. If I was in a stable relationship I am not positive if I would know where I am supposed to be simply due to the fact that there will be a void I can’t fill. That void is the chance that I may or may not be missing and I will never know if that proves true but I do know that it is there. I know that what I am doing now is well worth my time but there is also a high probability that a more beneficial opportunity is happening simultaneously. I might be very compatible with the store manager in H&M but Macy’s has the coat I am looking for.
Immediately I began to develop the emotional seesaw effect. Believe it or not, single men worry not for the sake of loneliness but the “what-if” factor is scarily more important than what is happening before us. The possibility that the odds may not be in my favor became clear; I may not ever be in the right time and place to find the “one” if there is such a thing. Although my emotions came full circle when I started thinking logically. I have no control over the law of interconnectivity. I am just supposed to live with the possibility that there is a chance that that chance will come. That’s the beauty of life isn’t it?
Photo courtesy of author.