The Day We Can’t Say 'I Love You'

Nothing is perfect.

Of course, some days will feel like they’re the best days of your life. As if nothing could go wrong and you feel the happiest with the person you call your partner, your love. Then there will be other days where things feel as bright. As if everything is going wrong and you don’t know how to fix it.

Maybe, during one of those cloudy days there’s an exchange of words that didn’t need to happen. Someone says something they don’t mean or something that is hurtful. It escalates, and maybe things end sour. Maybe things are left with those hurtful words being the last thing spoken.

But what if that’s it?

Now there’s a lot of “what-ifs” and “maybes” here. I’m sure that there have been many people who have gotten into heart-breaking arguments, and have said a few words that they didn’t mean, and apologized for them after. But what if that’s not the case?

No one wants to think of this. No one wants to think of a day where the one we love is no longer standing next to us. No one wants to imagine that.

But no one wants the last things they said to be something hurtful. No one wants their last words to someone they love to be something they regret. To be something that they can’t take back. Something that they can no longer change.

Which is why this is a gentle reminder to reflect on our words. Reflect on the last argument you had with your partner. Reflect on what was last said to each other, whether there was an argument or not. Will you be happy with what you last said?

***

“You never know how long you have with someone, so don’t forget to say I love you while you can” — Michael Jackson

***

Fact is, we are human. We will make mistakes and we will not always be able to catch them before it’s too late. But we are still responsible for our actions and words. We can still try to make up or correct our mistakes.

We can still communicate and try even if things have gone bad.

Communication isn’t easy. Especially when you and your partner may be feeling upset, or hurt. But it won’t hurt to let each other know how you feel and what you need.

If you need some space, then try to tell them. If you want some silence, then try to tell them. If you want to try and talk in a calmer manner, then try to tell them. Whatever you feel is needed, then try to tell them.

Now, I’m saying “try to tell them” because every person is different. Every relationship is different. And I know that it is not easy to just tell someone what you want or need, and especially so during a stressful time.

Because the way we communicate is just as important as the actual message we try to send.

Which is why it is just as important to take a step back, or have time alone to just calm down. To think about what to say next. To think how to respond after an argument has gone down, or even if someone has left the room.

To say “I love you”, in spite of the situation.

Because one day there will be a time when we won’t be able to look into the eyes of the one we love, gently hold them, and tell them “I love you”.

And the thing is, we’ll never know when that day will be. So don’t forget to try. To tell them you love them. That you care for them. That even if you’re angry or hurt, you‘re still there for them. That even if you need a breath of fresh air or some space to think, you still love them.

No one is promised tomorrow. But we all can take care to make sure that the last words we say to our partner, to our spouse, to our love aren’t words that we will regret. That we tell them how we feel. That we say “I love you.”

—

This post was previously published on Medium.com.

***