I have known people who have great spirit. My sister comes to mind. If you were in a room with her, there was no need to turn the light on. She beamed, all day, every day. She had an incredible energy. When we were kids, we called her “Sparky.” We all saw it.
Spirit and Soul are two different things. Spirit is energy; Soul is being. They are different. If you have both that is something special. Karen had them both; she more than different or special, she was unique. I miss her. We need her.
Karen had them both, but I wonder what I have? What do you have? I don’t have Spirit. If you enter a room I am in you won’t feel anything. In fact, it is likely that if you enter a room I am in I will venture away from you to be in the comfort of myself.
Do I have Soul, a soul?
I have spent most of my life running from the devil. It is hard to stay ahead and I feel him gaining on me. I am keeping some distance but am not sure how long these legs will carry my sins before giving in. I think admitting to sins means you have a soul, but not Soul.
I believe people are good. Most want to do the right thing and be helpful to others. There are real challenges today. We are dealing with a world turning in on itself. People point at each other and talk with such passion, and hatred. We are good at this. It is our Spirit, but not our Soul. It is where we are directing our energy.
What a waste.
Soul is what we are. We all began with pure thoughts and intentions. Over time that changed for some, but not most of us. Most of us don’t hurt others, or ourselves. We wander through life, trying.
It is good to try.
We are in the afterglow of 9/11. We live with terror as a possibility but not something that is likely. Fear is our spirit, but not the Spirit. Terror and fear consume energy, the energy that can do good things for ourselves and each other. It feels like a waste of energy to me. I think that is what my sister, Karen, would say. That wasting energy is bad. She always directed her energy towards something good. Like her family, friends, or those less fortunate. And me. She fed animals on her property and cared about them. She didn’t waste any energy, ever. She had spirit and directed it towards something that could provide a return. A type of down payment for someone else, not for her. Never.
Karen had a life force that was undeniable. It is sad she is gone. But it is reassuring that the lessons she left behind are so meaningful long after her passing. You might say her Soul is gone. I felt it leave when she passed. There was something in the room that left after her last breath. I know this, I was there and felt it. But, I wonder what it is that remains for us, in us, in me? It is something, but I just can’t define it. Perhaps it is Love, a feeling that doesn’t need Spirit or Soul to exist. It’s a feeling that just might be more powerful. I still feel it and feel hers.
It is sad to lose someone you love but is also meaningful to know that you did experience the benefits of real Love. I’ll take it.
My best, Chris
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