There are different reasons why some people would use any of these methods to find a partner. It may be because their work schedule may not allow them to go out. Or they don’t live in a place where it’s easy to get around and meet people.
For that specifically, the internet has added a great option. People can have the freedom to meet others without doing extra work. Not everyone may want to go out. But online dating has also created a lot more choices for people. And more choice also means that it’s harder to pick who you want to spend your time with.
So while I can’t complain about either method, online dating has problems all its own. It’s a wall that can keep some people single forever. And the more time goes on, the harder it will be to use such a service. Here are some of the reasons why online dating may hinder some people.
Quantity over quality
As I’ve already mentioned, choices are abundant when it comes to online dating. Previously, I’ve written about how different dating vehicles yield different results. When it comes to online services they offer a lot of volume but a very limited number of potential people to meet.
And also the choice rests with the women. They are the ones that get all the messages. So receiving hundreds of notifications can make it hard to spend time with each person. Instead, it’s better to find and pick the best person out of the entire heap of messages.
On the men’s side, it’s the opposite. Since all the women are getting all the messages, they do not need to reach out. This in turn leaves most men with no one to talk to in the first place. Therefore, the first online impression has to stand out above 90% of other profiles.
Wasting time chatting
It is a pretty common rule that once you “match” with someone, you should get to know each other. But this doesn’t create any type of connection. You may think that the person on the other end is wonderful. Or that they are the ones you’ve been looking for for a long time. Usually though, you will find that catfishing happens more often than it should.
Catfishing is known as the time people may use pictures that don’t look like them. Their pictures might have been taken years ago to help them look more young or fit. But also, people have different personalities online than in real life. It’s hard to decode tone from texting. And it’s also easier to lie so you can match what the other person wants to hear.
The main objective of online dating should always be to meet in person. You may think you need to know the other person before doing so. But this is a mistake. Even if you have to do the extra effort to go out with more people, it’s worth it. You will cut through all the obstacles and get to the point. Since that is the objective of dating anyway, there is no reason to delay it because you’d like to “chat” more.
The increasing barrier to entry
While there may seem like there is an unlimited amount of people, online you will only interact with a few. Partly because the matching system may not work well. The other side of it is that for you to have the ability to talk to the people you want to, you need to pay.
This is what makes this business extremely profitable. It preys on the need for connection. And that has been successfully monetized. While there is nothing wrong with the service, it doesn’t even the playing field. Those with the resources to do so can have a lot more access to the dating pool. Others may not want to and will be relegated to settling for what they can get. Yet this is the price to pay for having access to the database of any given app.
If you’re looking to maximize your reach on online dating platforms, you should make the most out of them. Make sure you have a well-crafted profile that gets people’s attention. Then cut to the chase and schedule to meet as soon as possible. Following this will save you a lot of time and you’ll be able to get the benefits of online dating. Of the women I’ve spent my time with, some have gotten thousands of matches. And other guys I’ve spoken to barely could scratch two dozen. There needs to be better content on how to make the space better.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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