A New Era of Masculinity: The Wise Negotiator

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Political polarization is nothing new—it is the content of the questions posed by the 21st century that force us to question our identities and choose which side of history we want to be on. It should be no surprise that within the critique of our politics and culture we find the need to renew what it means to be a man. Throughout the ages, men have slowly become cognizant of the mistakes of their fathers and deeply concerned about the example set for their children.

A man is inseparable from the community that he expresses himself in and it should be no wonder as to why the destruction and creation of masculine ideals coincides with the tides of history. The 21st century certainly has unpredictable and seemingly frightening challenges to our collective history, but the exposure of the current masculine ideal and yearning for a more fulfilling one is an old wheel making its turn.

At the end of the Victorian Era (1837-1901), a masculine ideal was solidified into the male psyche: that of the Pretentious Gentleman. This ideal was in itself a response to the Enlightened Adventurer pathos that preceded it—an ideal that shaped manifest destiny and classical liberalism alongside colonialist ambitions. The Pretentious Gentleman said to his former ideal, “Your aggressiveness has jeopardized our humanity, and although I may not be as educated and experienced as I’d like to be, my poise and articulation will at least show you I’m serious”. 

When the Enlightened Adventurer became unable to respond, we witnessed a struggle and unfolding of a new generality: it questioned the enslavement of others, it questioned the value of workers rather than simply the value of what they created, and wondered if traditions in particular had any relevance to a shared, objective reality. The upper social strata smoked their pipes and tipped their top-hats to conversations of Darwin’s evolution in light of  G.W.F. Hegel’s ‘Geist’ and W.K. Clifford’s unforgiving empiricism; the masses of commoners demanded value for their new labor in industry and enough leisure to read, write, and celebrate life in simple but fulfilling ways.

The Pretentious Gentleman, like all the ideals that came before it, had unintended consequences: it trivialized the importance of humility in knowledge by pretending it’s authority came from presentation rather than from reasoned justification; it confused the opportunities granted by industrial society for the individual as equal to the capabilities of a single individual despite his community; and it replaced the conquering of others with the conquering of nature, which cultivated the impetus of Victorian Purity. It was the sensitivity to these sentiments that produced the current masculine ideal so prevalent in our popular culture: the Rebel Cowboy.

The introduction of this ideal is illustrated by the real-life caricature of President Theodore Roosevelt. Roosevelt went through pains to present himself as the ‘Rough Rider’ president who carried a “big stick” (yet, rarely “spoke softly”). He believed men had become softened by our mechanical dependence and needed to return to the struggle of self-sufficiency in an industrial context. Though he enjoyed tennis, he made it clear never to be caught photographed in fear of being emasculated by the public record.

Not only did he take on the barons and monopolies that developed from the turn of the century, he further challenged the status quo of national politics by creating one of the most memorable and effective third parties in U.S. history. Participating in and inheriting the consequences of the Spanish-American War, he turned intervention in East Asian affairs into a humanitarian effort—his Great White Fleet meant to secure the South Pacific for trade and bring civilization to the seemingly primitive Japanese, Filipinos, and Chinamen.

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From 1914 to 1945, the world wars validated conquering the nature of men for the sake of mankind: war was instigated by ideological principles rather than pragmatic territorial disputes. Korea and Vietnam, African revolutions, and Latin American turmoil all predicated on how to reimagine the social contract and disperse resources, whereas those before them simply waged war to obtain resources and stabilize the social order. Coupled with preventing Communism abroad, a consumerist economy and a commercialized Christianity informed the domestic American identity. Simple access to labor was mistaken as individual “hard work” and the perceived heroism of the world order gave Americans a type of divinely inspired warrant to spread production and consumption. God became an abstract authorization to American interests, most explicitly stated by the official inclusion of God on our currency and the national pledge of allegiance.

In popular culture, the fascination with novelists, intellectuals, and philosophical contrarians was replaced by the intuition of anti-establishment machismo in entertainment—from Marlon Brando and John Wayne to Dirty Harry and the Dukes of Hazard. The newly minted ideal of the Rebel Cowboy shouted from the Appalachians, “A man is nothing more than what he produces through pure grit. Anything I obtain is deservedly mine and I answer to no authority but the highest of my own interpretation”. When a cool, smoking cowboy of the advertisement and entertainment industry became the leader of the free world it was both an indictment and a capstone of a culture. However, as the Berlin wall began to fall so too did the Rebel Cowboy as a secure masculine identity.

This ideal’s general disdain for authority became a blanket rejection of expertise and professionalism—a dangerous position at the advent of an age that gave information and ideas in a way that felt like drinking from a conceptual fire hose. It assumed a hyper-masculinity against any man that did not strive to be the extroverted alpha, further exacerbated by the unwarranted fear of homosexual inclusion. The obsession with rugged individualism eclipsed the necessity of community as the world inversely became more technologically connected and internationally dependent. Slowly but surely the Rebel Cowboy developed into (or was exposed as) an ‘idiot brute’.

Of course the knee-jerk reaction to this realization has led to a completely absurd abandonment of masculine ideals or gender norms altogether, such as the phenomenon of “gender-neutral” parenting. Many claim that such rearing is a necessary measure due to the caution between sexual orientations and damaging misogyny.

Be these cautions warranted as they may: LGBTQ persons make up less than 5% of the general population and portions of this minority may identify with gender norms despite sexual orientation (especially if the norms weren’t so antagonistic in spite of them). Perhaps misogyny doesn’t come from the lack of female inclusiveness as much as the lack of a healthy masculine stewardship—a feeling of inefficacy in one’s own identity that translates into an insecurity among others. The response to the Rebel Cowboy turned Idiot Brute shouldn’t be to jettison, leading young men into a void of healthy ideals. Considering the significance of role models for the youth and cultural norms for the mature, this choice between an unhealthy masculinity or no masculinity at all should strike all conscientious men as alarming.

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So what are we to do in the 21st century if we don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the Rebel Cowboy or any of the ideals that preceded it? Clearly, we develop a new ideal to meet the unprecedented challenges our generation must face. The challenges in a world that has achieved greater connectivity but an increasingly stratified social structure seem as daunting as they are paradoxical. The Information Age has ironically ushered in an era of “post-truth”, where blatant falsehoods are disguised as “alternative facts” and reporting that questions our biases becomes “fake news”. Too many are ill equipped to navigate the quagmire of opinions superimposed on an instantaneous media cycle. It is in light of these obstacles I suggest the ideal of the Wise Negotiator.

The 21st century man must be as humble as he is critical, for he faces an untangled web of valuable and deceptive information that will influence the direction of his principles in a way no generation before him could’ve imagined. The degree of ignorance one is born into has become increasingly voluntary and the consequences of remaining so are nearly unavoidable. Unlike the Pretentious Gentleman, he doesn’t need to feign erudition because he has the ability to inform his opinion accordingly. Unlike the Rebel Cowboy, he assumes the humility of “standing on the shoulders of giants”—where the expert is by merit, so the layman is by the veracity of his justifications. The Wise Negotiator is forced to contest and compromise conflicts of culture, have it be across geopolitical borders or generational boundaries within families. These snares imply we must learn the art of diplomacy when we most intuitively want to wage war. It is the nuanced realization that sometimes staying true to our principles means challenging our own identities so that life is fulfilling no matter where or when we come from.

The Wise Negotiator is always learning to grow, conscientiously assessing and understanding his relationships so that he may refine his role in this world. He understands that although masculinity is only a portion of his identity, it is an indispensable one. The masculine ideal of the 21st century will mold our children into the men of the future, and we should incorporate the wisdom few in the generations before us shared so that our sons may become fulfilled men we ourselves could’ve never envisioned.   

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Photo Credit: Getty Images