Forget all the advice about getting rid of holiday blues. Enjoy the gifts your single status offers.
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Pamper yourself! Get a massage. Get a facial. Dress your best at holiday parties, you never know who’s going to be there!
This is the type of advice, as a single person heading into “the most wonderful time of year”, you’ll get from reading the likes of COSMOPOLITAN and GQ.Getting a massage actually sounds nice, so I definitely recommend it, but it’s not really going to help chase away your holiday blues for long.
In fact, I would recommend you not try to chase away your holiday blues at all. I would encourage you to find a way to USE them. But I’ll get to that in a minute.
I have spent holidays somewhat glued to Match.com, tearing out of family gatherings on sacred holidays to meet a potential mate for drinks.
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First, I want to let you know that I am not talking to you as an expert who is married with kids, looking back on one or two holiday seasons in my twenties when I showed up single at parties of mostly coupled people. I’m not going to tell you how to “just have fun!” in the hopes that one day you will be more like the rest of us grown-ups, driving kids around and secretly feeling nostalgic for the days when our lives looked like yours. I won’t talk you out of any misery by suggesting that you will be partnered soon and will eventually forget this time.
In fact, I have been in the trenches of being single for the holidays more times than I care to remember. I have spent holidays somewhat glued to Match.com, tearing out of family gatherings on sacred holidays to meet a potential mate for drinks. I’ve ordered take-out on New Year’s Eve, and sat on the couch with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and two chick-flicks in the cue.
There were a few holiday seasons in which I was wildly happy to be by myself, but mostly, I pinched my nose, held my breath and got through it like a 4-year-old showing Daddy I could dunk my head under water. I felt left out of society, alienated within my own family, and overly steeped in “I’m such a loser” self-talk.
What I’ve learned through all those times is that no matter how you feel about this time of year, the holidays can be a gift to single people because:
You have TIME.
Time to DO and BE.
Time to make art. Incidentally, most great art is born in the quiet of aloneness, so please express and transform those holiday blues by putting them on paper, film, or canvas.
Time to read. Does anyone read books anymore? Try them, they’re great!
Time to rest.
Time to snuggle up with your comforter and watch your favorite holiday or non-holiday flick (for some reason everybody is talking about Elf. I’ve never seen it, but I’m beginning to think I need to. Thoughts in comments, please.).
Time to take walks alone and notice people. Or nature. Really notice.
Time to feel sorry for yourself, if that’s what keeps you company.
Time to grieve all the things you hoped would happen this year, that didn’t.
Time to gather yourself together and make new wishes for the New Year.
Time to return all the energy, the incredible, immense amounts of energy that you have been expending over the year to get someplace or to meet someone, back to yourself.
You may not have everything you want. But honestly, I don’t know many people who do. Or who have it all, for long.
But what you have is the luxury of time.
Make the best of it. Or not.
And remember, Love Yourself, no matter what.
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Originally published on BlairGlaser.com and is republished on Medium.
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oh wait a sec! there’s that link,… “The Garbagema explains Happiness” lololol
Ah laughter, such good medicine, Delton. Such a good way to pass the “time.”
Or to just reminisce, and just LAUGH at ourselves. I just had a moment here! When you mentioned having a couple chick-flicks in the cue,…. I’ve done that too (despite stereo-types),.. I hadn’t yet seen your pic, so I wasn’t aware yet of the Authors gender (ambi names, there are lots of them),…. just like,… PLEASE,…. keep the secret! DONT tell any one I like that movie!!!! hehehe!!!!
Or time to just contemplate life, and find time to just LAUGH at ourselves! Blair is a bit of an ambi name (no taints intended),anyways I found some common ground as you mentioned a couple of chick-flicks in cue,… and I’ve done that as a guy,… contrary to stereotypes lol! But am wrong! Your Image proves it! So,.. just one MORE reason to laugh at myself!
As to other points? I pretty much already did/followed the suggestions,… they don’t really resolve anything,… they just occupy ones mind,… Keeping us more ….’stable’ lol!
I wasn’t a Will Ferrell fan, but I thought Elf was pretty dang funny. It isn’t high art, but it’s a sweet story and you get to meet a very young Zooey Deschanel in one of her early roles. It’s become a holiday favorite over the years.
Okay Mike, you’re the tenth person. It’s on my list for this holiday season. Thanks. 🙂
“Time to make art. Incidentally, most great art is born in the quiet of aloneness, so please express and transform those holiday blues by putting them on paper, film, or canvas. Time to read. Does anyone read books anymore? Try them, they’re great!
Yes & YES. Love this.
Thanks for chiming in, Charles!
So glad it resonated, Christina!
Ive seen parts of Elf wasn’t a big fan just that particular brand of humor is not my favorite but its worth a try
Thanks for chiming in, Charles!
For those of us in Southern Cal – consider volunteering for the Rose Parade.