The majority of women say they want to be stay at home mothers. What does this mean for the finances of our families?
Are today’s men getting lazy? I am beginning to wonder because not only are women getting “ahead,” we are falling behind. Forget society as a whole for a minute. What does this mean for the finances of our families?
I recently read an article on Forbes indicating that 84 percent of women want to stay home and raise their children. This flies in the face of the The End of Men: And the Rise of Women by Hanna Rosin. It turns out that even though women have risen, they want to rise further by going back to the old days. Go figure!
To get a real woman’s perspective on this, I asked a young nurse I know. Her name is Faith, and she is the author of “Preemies In A Pod” where she blogs about premature babies. I specifically asked for her views on this topic because nurses get paid hourly. With the opportunity to work overtime and make more money, those that work twelve hour shifts three days a week appear to have plenty of time at home. Her views confirmed the research.
“Many women wish they had more flexible options for staying home,” she said. “Some mothers are really stressed out with the pressures of home and work—and children can never be turned off like a job. If a child has special needs or is one of the 12% born premature, affordable day-cares might not accept him/her. If one of my babies’ parents asked, I would suggest that one of them stay at home if at all possible.”
I wonder how many men are aware of these views? Do we realize that our career-oriented girlfriends will very likely want to stay at home when they have children? (84% is not a small statistic!)
I ask because this has serious implications for how we plan our careers. It also affects how we manage our money from the dating to the wedding and beyond. Knowing this, a man might set a goal of being able to financially support his family by himself. He could also do his part to help the family save money to make staying at home possible for the mother of his children. The man himself might be the one to stay home.
If you’re a skeptic, you probably wonder whether it’s possible to do this. You likely think that only rich people can afford it, but you might be wrong. According to Beside Every Successful Man: Getting the Life You Want By Helping Your Husband Get Ahead author Megan Basham, educated women can “have it all.” The book cites research and anecdotes supporting the idea that men whose wives stay home earn the most in the long-term. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?
So I ask: Have men considered the apparent reality that women still want to spend time at home? Are we putting pressure on ourselves to facilitate this like our fathers did? Or do we think it’s impossible—that dominance both in the home and at work is too much for one gender to have?
Read more: Why Men Can’t Have It All
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