
When I started with self-improvement, Pickup coaches created this perfect image of the ideal man.
Do what they say, and you’ll be able to “attract every woman”.
With “the right techniques”, girls will desire you and fall to their knees after three seconds.
So as a young man, you want to believe this sort of bullshit. I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it.
You’ll be so influential, how can everybody not like you.
A universal truth most people will hate
Here’s the simple truth.
Some people will like you no matter what. Some people won’t, no matter what.
Heck, sometimes people like me for no apparent reason. Whether they’re friends I just met or complete strangers.
And Sometimes they “reject me” for no apparent reason. I stand there and go, “Well, it is what it is”.
I’m not saying go fuck with people and be mean because it doesn’t matter or something. All I’m saying is you have zero control over other people’s affection towards you.
Period.
It’s impossible to be loved by everyone. Do YOU like everyone you meet?
Probably not.
I don’t think we’re supposed to “like” everyone around us. People are too different from one another.
Don’t fear disagreements
If no one disagrees with you throughout life, you probably don’t express yourself much.
Good marketing disqualifies people. That’s why great personal brands tend to be “extreme” in one way or another.
Think about guys like Andrew Tate or Alex Jones. Part of the reason they’re so well known is they are controversial figures.
They don’t want everyone to like them. They know it’s a useless strategy.
They call out their audience specifically and cater to them. If they would try to please everyone with their opinions, there’s NO WAY they will be successful in what they do.
They would slip under people’s radars. They would have their five minutes of fame, and that’s it.
“You hurt my feelings” is crybabies bullshit
Some people get hurt from every second or third thing they hear.
It seems like in this day and age, everybody finds a reason to get hurt.
I don’t even know the exact reason. Lol. But it probably messes with the way they see themselves.
Last week I went out with a girl who told me “I hurt people”. I mean, if I made a mistake, I’m open to feedback.
But this girl had known me for an hour and a half and already decided I hurt people on the regular.
Like I got nothing better to do.
Listen. Just because someone’s hurt, it doesn’t mean they’re right.
Again, I’m not saying be mean and purposefully go and hurt people.
But this bullshit went too far. I think lots of young people feel like the world owes them something. And all it does is backfire in every area of their life.
Career, relationship, everything. You can’t make everyone like you.
Embrace zero control mentality
Realizing you can’t control people and make them “like you” is liberating.
It sets you free.
In a way, it makes you perfect. You know you do your best to improve, and that’s it.
What else can you do? Banging your head against the wall and being hard on yourself will only make you miserable.
Zero control mentality takes the pressure off yourself and the people around you.
You won’t expect them to be perfect and like all the time since you know reality doesn’t work that way.
You also learn better the skills that have to do with other people, like dating or sales. If you make a mistake, it isn’t a big deal. You learn from it and move on.
Get my free ebook, “Life Lessons From Getting Rejected by Hundreds Of Women”.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
