The Illusion of Being Loved Back

I’ve been thinking about something lately.

We often fall for the illusion of love , not the person, but the way they love us.
We mistake attention for affection, comfort for connection, and effort for emotion.

I’ve seen this pattern so many times, in movies, in people around me, and maybe even in my own story.

There’s always that one person who pours their heart out( that’s me)
who texts first, calls often, remembers little details, and shows up without being asked.
They do all this not because they have to,
but because love feels natural to them.
Because they care.

And then there’s the other person who starts enjoying the attention and gets used to the affection,
maybe even craves the good mornings and goodnights —
But somewhere deep down… doesn’t really feel the same.

They love the way they’re being loved.
Not the one who loves them.

And when that person, the one who gave everything, finally stops?
When the texts slow down, when the calls fade away, when the effort dries up, suddenly, the connection “doesn’t feel the same.”

It never was.

It was one-sided from the start, but disguised so well by all the noise of attention and care.

And I’ve realized something important:
If you love me only because I love you, then you don’t really love me.
You love the version of yourself that feels adored.
You love the reflection of love in my eyes , not the person behind it.

So here’s a simple ask

Love me as a person.
For who I am when I’m not loving you.
For who I am on silent days, lazy days, and bad days.
For my mind, my values, my weird jokes, my overthinking.
Not just for how I make you feel.

Because I don’t want to keep proving my worth with constant love just to be seen.
I want to be loved even when I have nothing left to give.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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