The Importance of Beauty

Recently I read an  article by the very talented Katie Jgin that got me thinking. I had not been aware of just how toxic beauty culture has become. Some of the statistics mentioned in the article shocked me. It is also outside of my own milieu. The people in my life who I am close to don’t follow these trends.

However, I have younger friends who do closely follow the celebrities and influencers. And I have been troubled by how insecure they are. As an older person in their life, I try to speak words of encouragement to them when I can. I want to empower them, not tear them down.

Life has taught me that appearances don’t matter in the long run, though they can matter a lot on a superficial level. And this can be hurtful. I have been ignored, treated badly, and devalued based on my appearance by strangers and acquaintances who gave more attention to the “prettier” people. I get why women put so much emphasis on appearance — it makes a difference professionally as well as socially.

Yet… I have also learned that there is a spiritual well inside all of us that changes how we view the world. In the long run, this feeds our souls and changes our lives. But we have to change our view of what it means to be successful and what it means to be empowered.

It comes down to faith and courage. It comes down to understanding that our bodies are not meant to live in forever, but are merely the tents that hold us while our heavenly dwellings await.

Me turning 55 — I need a cane these days to get around but can still enjoy a drink with the girls

Like a physical tent, our bodies fade over time. There is nothing we can do to turn back the clock. All the cosmetics, diet plans, exercise routines, and even surgeries — they may provide temporary relief, but they don’t change the reality of the harsh toll that time ultimately takes.

There is a reason that in Greek mythology Father Time (Chronus) is often portrayed as an old man with a thick gray beard — he represents the destructiveness of time on the body.

In the Bible, 2 Corinthians 5:4 says: For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.

I had to read this several times before it made sense to me. I think the verse refers to our desire to live in our heavenly home, to be clothed in our spiritual body instead of our fading earthly ones.

While we dwell in the flesh, we are subject to the concerns of the flesh and its inevitable decline. When we dwell in the spirit, which is our ultimate dwelling place, then things will be different.

On this earth, we are judged by the superficial — our physical beauty, our wealth, our popularity. In the heavenly realm — our character, our spiritual beauty, our depth — these will be the coin of the realm.

Then I listened to this explanation by Today’s Verse (which I listen to every morning if I can) and it further explained this verse to me. He pointed out that when he was 30 he could run very fast but that he could no longer do this. And in fact, those with the best lung capacity in the world are all young men — according to the American Lung Association, they reach their maximum lung capacity at between 20–25 years and after age 35 show a measurable decline in function.

My grandparents on a trip to Agra

The speaker in the video points out that we were never meant to live forever in these “earthen vessels”. However, when the tent is destroyed, we have a new, beautiful building to move into, given to us by God.

In this new place, our mortal lives are swallowed up by our true lives — our forever lives in glorious realms.

This verse and others give me hope as I myself approach death. I was diagnosed with cancer in my mid-30s and given only 6 months to live, so I came face to face with death earlier than most.

And it made me angry.

I was a young woman who cared about how I looked, and who also had dreams for my future which were dashed. Cancer took away many things.

But God gave them back to me.

I was angry at God, no mistake about it. But I didn’t hole up and remain angry with Him. I confronted Him. I talked to Him. I yelled at Him. And He opened my heart to His true and faithful love.

I survived the initial cancer and was in remission for many years, but in April of 2022 I was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer. Again, I was given just a few months.

I find myself in an odd place.

Physically I am weaker than I’ve ever been. But spiritually I feel stronger.

Physically I would probably be considered ugly — I only have one breast, I’ve lost my hair, and my butt is now flat. Spiritually — I have been told that I glow. I feel more powerful and beautiful than I’ve ever been because my capacity to give comfort and emotional support to those around me has grown. Sometimes I am in great pain and I lash out or isolate myself from others. But I am better able to resist this impulse. I am learning how to care for myself while also showing kindness to others.

It’s a journey.

It’s one that we all have to travel, and, in the grand scheme of things, gifting them with plastic surgeries may not be the best way to serve our young people.

It’s not that the superficial stuff isn’t important — having healthy bodies and strong minds are good things. Making enough money to support yourself and your family is a good goal. Teaching the young to do these things is important.

Taking care of our appearance is also important. As a Christian person, I’ve heard how important cleanliness is. I don’t iron my t-shirts the way friends of mine did when we were young women but I do make sure to wear things that are clean and reasonably attractive, at least to me.

None of this is wrong.

But when we are putting all of our time and effort into things that will not last through eternity — perhaps we need to re-think our priorities?

I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.

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This post was previously published on Shefali O’Hara’s blog.

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