A few months ago, I published an article regarding the importance of involving ourselves with more than one close friend/acquaintances to avoid dependency and maintain a healthy perspective towards the core relationships.
By core relationships, I mean the ones we share with our love partners, parents, and best friends.
Over time of cultivating the concept in my life, I learned the complexity and essence of spreading our wings in relationships. The worth of having people who, when blended, will make us feel complete. Instead of relying on one person to make us think deserving and worthy.
I joined volunteering.
As the saying goes, “The teacher arrives when the student is ready,” my inclination towards associating with a volunteer service was a long awaiting hope that became true until a couple of weeks back.
It was an impulsive decision at the moment; however, subconsciously, I was waiting to push myself for the activity. In no time, I realized how my mind and body changed with the positive uplifting received from the environment at the program.
A similar experience might have also surfaced if I joined a tennis school instead.
It was not the volunteering activity per se that made a difference to my character. I experienced new people treating me with respect, appreciation, and support without knowing who I am. The only identity they know is my name, where I am from, and where I work full-time.
We hesitate to welcome new people into our lives while in a core relationship. We feel we are disloyal to our close ones. However, that is not true.
Time and again, we will find that the current relationship is not bringing A to Z of everything we want. An inevitable event in life because people change, and so do their needs.
I acknowledged myself.
You can never change a person. You may try to make someone realize what is bothering you; however, most likely, that person will disregard and not take you seriously.
You will fall apart to see that 98% of the world is people who play the game to meet the needs and the remaining 2% who will show genuine care for you. Over time, even the 2% will change for good, and you may not fit in with them.
We fear heartbreaks, and we reach a phase of life where we thrive to maintain relationships by giving each other space and spread our wings.
As much as it is crucial to make others feel good around you, the same is essential for yourself.
We need people who will acknowledge our worth from more than one perspective, and it cannot be expected from solely one person.
An acknowledgment of failure or success accompanies every move we make.
When we fail, we need someone to lift us, hold our hands and support our back. When we succeed, we need applause for our efforts and intelligence.
With this understanding, I realized that I do like to receive words of affirmations, and one can achieve them from random strangers, which will still work efficiently on us as much as when our close ones say.
A sad mind and heart will never help you succeed.
We have to use the escape button in our lives whenever necessary. We need positivity and happiness of all kinds, even for a little while, to thrive.
Socializing is one way to achieve the same. Doing the act that makes you feel good and complimenting yourselves or receiving compliments from others is essential.
When our core relationships fail to provide the encouragement we need to strive forward, we have to find it somewhere.
Positive feedbacks are required to keep us striving for the best outcome every time we make an effort. It works as a cycle.
For instance, I finally found the therapist I bond with well. He understands me without a second thought. An hour of conversation every week adds up to a pinch of sugar in my mood.
Appreciation from random people at the volunteer service fills me with confidence.
When my trivia night friends always make plans and reply to my texts even after not meeting their needs appropriately, it makes me feel understood.
When my published blogs receive an acknowledgment, it boosts my self-esteem.
Most people we meet will show us the craving for attention. We all love attention and admiration.
A few we meet will sway between being in the giving and receiving end. However, the majority thrive on the receiving end.
And that’s where relationships become tricky.
Being the giver is fine as far as you know how to receive your needs.
If we expect the receiver to give, our expectations are bound to fall apart.
If the receiver reciprocates as expected, then it’s one of the best moments to cherish.
Hence, having multiple sources of acknowledgment is critical for our happiness and peaceful mindset.
When we are happy and content, it becomes invariably easy to give to as many people as we can.
Previously Published on medium
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