He lived his life near the ocean, but only on a recent vacation did he uncover the true power of the current in shaping our lives.
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During my Christmas vacation in Hawaii I was able to spend some quality time with my five year old daughter. Like many kids her age she enjoys asking a billion questions that I have little time to answer and interacting with nature with the cutest curiosity. These two elements would collide when we played in a natural kiddie pool that was filling up with the rise of the tide. With every crashing wave the natural pool became turbulent because of the strong currents that was pulling the water back out to sea. Like any parent I was on high alert and made sure my ever watching eye was focused on my daughter.
Of course like any child her age she was excited to be in the water and since she took swimming lessons she wanted to show me how well she could swim. I watched as she kicked through the water until she could no longer hold her breath. When she stood up in waist high water she realized she hadn’t moved an inch. With a frustrating look on her face she asked, “Why didn’t I go anywhere daddy?”
Sensing her disappointment I swam next to her and explained a lesson ever ocean goer should know.
Don’t fight against the current.
When I spoke to her about ocean currents I demonstrated its power by asking her to float on her back. When she did she traveled a lot further without doing anything, which naturally made her realize she shouldn’t swim against the current. It was futile and it was a lot more fun floating on her back.
Life is not suppose to be easy but there are things that we make harder then it has to be.
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For many locals born in Hawaii we are taught to never fight against a strong ocean current because you’ll never win. You’ll just end up depleting your energy resources while making little progress toward shore. This can turn into a dangerous situation when you end up having little energy to swim back or stay afloat. Therefore, if you are ever caught in a strong current you should remain calm and go with it. Once it weakens you’ll have the opportunity to swim out and have enough in your tank to get back to shore.
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Going with the current is not only applicable for the sea but life as well. Now there are things that people should not give into. You shouldn’t relent to peer pressure just because it’s easier to go with the crowd. You shouldn’t give up on your dreams because you have to fight for it. Life is not suppose to be easy but there are things that we make harder then it has to be.
1. Mental Health Issues – Current represents the feelings and thoughts that want to be expressed.
Coming from someone who has battled with depression I can attest that going with the current would have helped when I was in the midst of these issues. Many of my struggles originated from my constant battle of portraying the good child that I was always viewed as being. Instead of expressing the feelings that were bubbling close to the surface I suppressed them (fight against the current) until I’d blow up in a fit of rage or I’d point redirect the anger within, which would ultimately lead to my suicide attempt. However, after seeking out counseling I was able to learn how to go with the current by using the skills I was taught to express my thoughts and feelings that once eroded at my mental health.
2. Child Rearing – Current represents letting go of control.
Having children is a great opportunity and responsibility to educate the next generation. What parents teach in their home can have a great impact on their kids future. With so much pressure it’s easy to assume that you have to create a perfect environment (fight against the current) that will help cultivate the future minds of the world and keep your children safe. Sadly as a parent you learn quickly especially when you have a two year old how little control you have over your environment.
It’s only when I let go of the fantasy of control that I can enjoy a day with my children and surprisingly have more energy to clean the house at the end of the day.
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Besides the constant diaper changing at impromptu times of the day in addition to the more then occasional melt downs. Not to mention the constant putting away and taking out of toys. You can easily become overwhelmed and stressed over your home environment. This stress is doubled when you’re a neat freak like myself. It’s only when I let go of the fantasy of control that I can enjoy a day with my children and surprisingly have more energy to clean the house at the end of the day.
3. Pursuing Passions – Current represents the unconventional things the heart wants to pursue.
Two years ago I was in the middle of a job that offered me valuable experience in my field and benefits that took care of my family. I was able to work with Native Hawaiians who are my people and help them pursue their dreams in college. It should have been my dream job, however, as the honeymoon phase ended I grew restless. What probably made it worse was that I would hear these great stories from students who sacrificed for the opportunity to pursue their passions. I would encourage them when they were faced with obstacles to not give up. I’d try to inspire them to be dreamers and to not pursue things because they were conventional. If they wanted to do something they should do it. No questions. No excuses.
It was like my body and soul was telling me to stop lying to myself and pursue my passion or else.
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So here I was counseling others to pursue their dreams while I sat at my desk and dreamt about writing. I’d day dream and write notes on a book idea I’ve had for months. But how could I pursue it? I was a married man with two kids and one on the way. Days of pursuing my dreams were over . So I pushed those feelings aside and went to work (fight against the current) but as months went on depression started setting in. I no longer felt good about my job and dreaded coming to work. I became so tired of life that I had to take time off to recover and on top of that I started to get sick more often. It was like my body and soul was telling me to stop lying to myself and pursue my passion or else.
Not long afterward I decided with my wife that we would focus on pursuing our passions. My wife would try to grow her business with my help and I would start following my heart no matter how unconventional they may be. Since I’ve left my job five months ago I’ve been happier and more fulfilled then ever but this doesn’t mean it has been easy. It hasn’t but the work that comes with writing feels less strenuous because I’m no longer fighting against my heart. I’m actually going with the flow and for the first time in a long time I feel congruent with myself.
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Since it’s the season for new year resolutions I’d like to encourage you to take a look at your life and ask yourself is there a current that you’re fighting against. If there is please take a look at it and ask these three simple questions:
1. Is the current your swimming against worth the struggle?
2. What are the positive things that would occur if you went with the current?
3. What is holding you back from going with the current?
If you decide to go with the current I know that it’s scary but if you do I promise that you’ll be happily surprised where it’ll take you. I know it has changed my life and has given me the energy to push against the current in other aspects of my life. So don’t be afraid and let the currents take you away.
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Photo: Flickr/Paolo Gamba