The Influence of Random Kindness

Kindness — the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

People are influenced by a variety of things. Our environment, interests, the people in our life, and the list continues. This piece is about kindness.

The power that kindness can have, and most people don’t even realize it.

When I was around sixteen I experienced a certain type of kindness.

Getting into a disgusting argument, with a person who is no longer in my life, I left the car that we were both seated in and instead of turning towards my house I had continued walking down the street further into the neighborhoods of the small town I grew up in while getting soaked by the rain.

Looking back at that moment there were several things that I could have done before that point that could have prevented me from ever getting there. Clearly, that did not happen.

But we can’t change the past and can’t change the choices we’ve made.

The silver lining here? The little boy who jumped the wall of his backyard to get to me. His act of kindness. I can’t change the choices I made that had led me to that fight, and that wasn’t even the first argument I had gotten into with that specific person. Nor would this be the last even though this person should have been cut from my life long before this point. But I’ll save that for another time. What I can do is look at the silver lining, look at what I gained.

I had gained a moment that I would carry with me for the rest of my time, and would share with others to show the impact of kindness.

I had continued walking through the neighborhoods crying out loud in my fluffy pj sweats while I continued to get soaked. In that moment I didn’t care that I looked like a mess, or that I was completely soaked, or that someone could have swiped me off the street. I wasn’t thinking about any of that because I had been so angry and hurt. I just didn’t know what to do so I walked to nowhere. And that led me to him.

This little boy, who couldn’t be older than eleven or twelve, was in his backyard jumping on his trampoline in the rain and saw me. He saw a girl in soaked pajamas who was red in the face crying and he could’ve just ignored me. I was a stranger to this kid.

But instead he yelled at me “Hey! Hold on!” and I did. I was confused and emotional, but my gut said to listen. So I did. I stopped walking and waited, watching as he jumped his wall, ran across the street, and wrapped his small arms around me to give me a big hug. His actions surprised me, and I could feel myself crying as I hugged him back. Then his kindness continued. “It’ll be okay. I’m here.” is what he said over and over again as he hugged me tightly.

Soon after, I gave a tearful thanks and we both left. I never saw that boy again. But his kindness stuck with me.

His kindness saved me and he didn’t know that it did.

Now this is one story out of millions out there, and every person has different experiences.

But the point is that a little bit of kindness can go a long way.

“You never know what someone is going through.”

Most people have probably heard this phrase before. It carries a lot of truth, and sometimes people might not realize just how true these words can be. You don’t know how someone is feeling unless they tell you. You don’t know what they’re thinking unless they tell you. Sometimes you might think you do, but the only way to be absolutely certain about what someone is thinking, what they’re feeling, is if they tell you.

Because the owner of those feelings, those thoughts, is the only person who knows for sure. Because they’re theirs. Those are their feelings, their emotions, their concerns.

Someone could be at the tipping point of some life-changing event. Struggling to get out of bed in the morning, and having no appetite. Or they’re excited and far too anxious for something they’re anticipating, and they’re losing their cool. Maybe they lost someone, and grief is overwhelming them but they won’t show it. These are only a few scenarios from an endless list of things that a person could be experiencing, but like I said earlier. Kindness can go a long way.

It might not solve everything, or solve anything at all honestly. But it can help. It can be the hand that someone reaches out to in order to pull themselves out of bed. It can be the voice that calms someone down and reassures them things will be okay. It can be the warmth of a hug that comforts someone grieving, or the guidance to keep someone going in their darkest moments. It can be the shoulder that someone needs after staying strong for too long.

Kindness is the gift that takes many forms, and can save so many people without the giver even realizing it. It can be a big gesture, a small gesture, or even something that someone wouldn’t even think twice about. A phone call just to see how a loved one is doing, visiting a friend just because, a random gift, a compliment, and more. Kindness can be delivered in so many ways.

Most of the time we might not even realize we’re being gifted by kindness. Unknowingly might take it for granted. But when we look back at it, then we’ll see it.

The stranger that said “you’re beautiful” to the girl at the store brought a smile to her face. The kiss on the cheek from the mother to her son made him feel loved. The teacher that offered an extension to the student who was struggling in silence. The little girl who gave the old man at the grocery store a hug, not knowing he had just lost his daughter. The grave keepers who do their best to keep the cemetery clean for the deceased and their loved ones who visit. The teenager who holds the door open for the elderly couple behind them.

These are acts of kindness. And can be acts of love. Their influence, their power, is strong and present even in the moments where we don’t realize it. Everyone is capable of performing an act of kindness. Everyone is capable of being the gift that someone needs, without knowing they’re needed. That’s what kindness can do. That is it’s strength.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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