The Jude Bacalso Case: Addressing Misgendering in Public Spaces

In the Philippines, a transwoman who was misgendered by a waiter goes viral.

Even the deadly typhoon that hit our country can’t stop the conversation about what happened between the transwoman and the waiter.

As with every controversy it quickly escalated to transphobia and hate speech.

For context with what my opinion is about gender pronouns, we can hear it first hand from how a transperson feels when they are misgendered.

It’s awkward; it hurts, I hate it.

Every time I correct someone, I always get the same response.
“You’ll have to forgive me.”
“You have to understand how hard it is.”
“It will take some time for me to adjust.”
“This is new to me.”
“You can’t blame me.”
“They’re old; they don’t understand.”

I KNOW.

Honestly, my stomach is turning from the thought of people reading this and seeing the impact of a small mistake, but someone needs to say it.
Read it here.

Gender Pronouns

Because it is important, there should be a way to avoid another #judebacalso incident. If you are a business owner, you can educate your service workers (yes, you should be the one educating your workers and not let a random stranger do that for you). Anyone should be addressed based on what they wear, regardless of what they look like; in women’s clothes — ma’am, in men’s clothes — sir.

If you have a non-conforming, non-binary person for a client, they/them should express how they want to be addressed. It’s essential to respect their preference and use the pronouns they provide.

I found out it is impolite to ask ‘What’s your pronoun?’ as it can invalidate the gender the trans person identifies with. Instead, you can introduce yourself with your pronouns and invite them to share theirs if they are comfortable.

For trans men and women, being misgendered in a restaurant where it is likely that the waiter has never met you, think of it as an honest mistake.

But each day is different; we may feel triggered by a mistake, and the best thing is to leave and look for another “friendlier” restaurant. No food is that good when you are already upset.

Being refused service for who you are is different.

When a random stranger misgenders you out of nowhere, that is a valid cause to be upset and angry.

When you are misgendered in the workplace, where people know you, it should make you upset and angry, but let HR handle it for you.

Context is everything, and words do hurt. But for an honest mistake, you need to learn how to be gracious, especially if an apology is offered.

More so, when you are a much older person talking to a younger person, it is not your “duty” to educate anyone.

Making someone stand for hours is an asshole move regardless of your gender identity. A customer isn’t always right; there are limits.

Yes, Jude has all the right to call herself a woman, but as a public figure in Cebu, she may face ridicule. While ridicule can be cruel, it’s important to approach each situation with empathy and understanding.

#GenderPronouns #Misgendering #TransRights #NonBinary #GenderIdentity #PronounEtiquette #LGBTQIA #TransAwareness #GenderEquality #Inclusivity #DiversityAndInclusion #SupportTransPeople #RespectPronouns #TransVisibility #Allyship #TransLivesMatter #JudeBacalso #CebuLGBTQ #Cebu

What are your thoughts on transgenders and their pronouns?