The Least Attractive Type of Man

Level with me here.

Nice guys “finish last” not because they’re nice but because they’re straight-up doormats.

There’s nothing wrong with being a nice guy. We should all treat each other with kindness and respect.

But — big but — there is a notable difference between “kind” and being a pushover.

…

A man with no backbone is the least attractive type of man.

Despite what she may tell you, no woman truly wants a man who she doesn’t respect. And if she doesn’t respect you as a man, she will never be fully attracted to you as a partner.

Respect is the number one factor in building attraction.

Women may claim they want a man who listens to what they say and does what they tell him, but every woman likes to be challenged sometimes. If a man is simply unable to say “no” to anything a woman asks of him, he is too much of a pushover.

A relationship should be balanced. Neither side should control the other. There should be open and honest communication between both people involved.

We’re constantly fed the message that men shouldn’t abuse, dominate, or put down women — but not so much the other way around.

And yet, women are shown dominating men in pop culture, movies, music, you name it…and nobody bats an eye. It’s cool and fashionable to put men down as bumbling idiots and raise women up as the ones really calling the shots.

Perhaps this is an effect of the social pendulum — overcompensating for the toxic attitudes of ill-behaved men from the past.

Still, praising and glorifying women at the expense of men is an overcorrection that misses the mark of Truth.

Men should have the capacity to be dangerous.

Women don’t want a man who is soft and people-pleasing. Women don’t want a man who is emotionally fragile or constantly seeking validation.

Men should be able to do damage. They should be able to make things happen, to make the world shake.

A man should have the capacity for evil, but the desire and will to do good. If he has no capacity for doing anything other than what people tell him to do, he is of no use to women or society.

…

When did men become pushovers?

Somewhere along the line, men decided that being “friends” with women was the best way to get laid. Being agreeable and siding with women on everything was ultimately a tactic to get into their pants.

Sometimes, it works.

At first.

But it doesn’t last, and it doesn’t bode well for the rest of society.

Most women think they want a man who agrees with them on everything, who listens to what they think and believe, who says “yes, honey” and doesn’t make a fuss.

But really, women are attracted to men who can tell them no.

There’s a reason why the phrase “grow some balls” exists.

The mark of masculinity — being a man — used to mean having balls.

It meant, stand for something. Have courage and integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Work for what you want. Stand up for what you believe in, even if you’re standing alone.

This was the mark of masculinity.

Now it’s all these pseudo-psychology mind games about getting with girls by agreeing with them and making them feel like you’re on their side. (You know, with the feminism and girl power and all that.)

No wonder so many women aren’t attracted to these alleged “nice guys.”

Being nice and agreeable in exchange for being a man is never going to work.

…

An alternative

Have dignity and self-respect. Stand by your opinions. Have a backbone. Take risks, be brave, and get out into the world and do something to make it a better place.

That will make you the most attractive type of man there is.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***