Some people are doing dry Jan or other versions of a New Years’ resolution.
Personally, it’s time to put my dating on hold for a few months. It’s not because the pool of potential partners is terrible; it’s not because I hate all men and women but because of me.
It might be best if everyone took ownership of their own actions and general behavior. Arent, you tired of the worn-out phrases about life doesn’t happen to you; you happen to life. Ugg, if I hear these cliches and childish metaphors one more time, the eye roll may cause permanent damage to my vision.
Even worse is when it’s said as if they are clever. OK, enough negativity; that’s not my thing; back to my spell of no dating.
I’m not dating because I don’t have the time. I can’t say I’m not interested in dating because I would love to have extra time to meet people. Look into their eyes and connect with another wise soul. Feel the butterflies while you start to fall for someone; it’s all really magical.
However, math has to factor in. There are 24 hours each day, and I need at least 8 hours of sleep. Plus, I have three school-aged kids, great friends, personal hobbies (like writing here), and a small business. Remember the dumb saying about living in the moment? Well, there’s that to factor into the equation too. It’s impossible to do anything well when your juggling too much. I choose to keep it all and enjoy the ride.
Your romantic partner is up there with one of the most important people in your life. They open themselves to you and become vulnerable. They deserve your love and attention and the best you can give them. That is especially true at the beginning when each of you are most nervous and vulnerable. It’s easy to have a casual, crappy relationship where each of you show up when it’s convenient or you call the other when you’re in need. But that just sucks, and it’s awful and destructive to do that to someone.
As a middle-aged single mom, I thought it would be much easier when I first entered the dating scene, and I figured many other single parents were on the same journey. There was, and there still is. The challenge is getting the schedules and availability to line up. Between work, hobbies, and kids, it’s like putting your chip on the roulette table; the odds just aren’t in your favor.
Photo by Free Walking Tour Salzburg on Unsplash
Is it worth it to find love, heck yes. But something has to give; again, tick-tock- with the 24-hour clock, there’s a limit to your day.
Don’t you want to have the best, most fulfilling romantic relationship?
Don’t you want to find the best person to love and be the very best version of yourself?
Sometimes the timing is just not right, and kids, work, and your own needs must be your priority. So rather than be a crappy lover, it might be time for a pause.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash