Seriously. Okay, let’s do this.
I have a whole existence on the internet…
So, as a general rule, I don’t hang around on the sexualized platforms on any of the sites that I publish anything on. I’ve found it helps to decrease the number of absolute filth that manages to find its way into my inbox.
That’s not to say, of course, that I don’t know that there are some risqué areas to navigate around, and also some areas that are just downright nasty.
Incest platforms, incredibly descriptive sexual platforms featuring those in BDSM scenarios, sex workers spilling their guts, I know you’re right next door.
I also know that the weirdo creepers that frequent your material are right next door. I don’t have an issue with your content. I have an issue with the nasty ass individuals who think that because I stay next door to all of that, I must be aware and be ok with all of it, thus, he should be inappropriate out of sheer proximity.
No, asshole. You shouldn’t.
Bruh, I’m Just Here To Write. Really.
Every day, multiple times per day, I advise someone in the fact that “this is a platform for writing”, and I am here solely for that purpose. I am not looking for a date, a hook up, a dick pic, a friend, a lover, a casual acquaintance.
None of the above, dude. Yet, inevitably, it ends up with me reporting and blocking, because no matter how many creative ways I come up with to say “no, thank you”, they’re going to push it until I have to get hostile.
Apparently, even in cyberterms, no doesn’t mean no. It’s merely a starting point to wear a woman down.
Yet, even with the perversions occurring next door, I know that it isn’t their fault that Little Jack Horny can’t listen when I tell him politely that he should fuck off. He was going to do this regardless of whether or not Polly Prostitute was the next shop over. If the Master/Slave situation wasn’t taking place downstairs, this dude was not going to be any more of a gentleman or any less of a cyberstalking pervert.
So, imagine how distasteful it was this morning when a man who is “pro-traditional family unit” (who immediately tried to blame pornography and the transgendered for increased rape culture), decided to jump onto a “No revictimization” thread on my column.
The Rapist Is Not At Fault For The…Rape? Wait. What?
As though in the center of women speaking of the worst experiences of their lives is exactly where he should lay the blame anywhere but squarely on the shoulders of the rapist, so that these women that had been victimized can see that the man who raped them clearly can’t be blamed for his own actions, and instead the breakdown of 1950’s style family units, and the fact that “abstinence isn’t being pushed” (yes, he fucking said that) is the reason this piece of shit raped them.
Of course, it’s not the fault of the rapist. If only the family unit circa 1961 was still running the show. No rape occurred then, right? Oh, wait, it did. It just didn’t get reported, and when it actually was, it was swept under a rug or artfully blamed on the “what was she really wearing” victim.
The fact is this: as far back in history as there were humans, rape has been an issue. The terminology has changed, laws have been constructed, and once in a while are enforced, but it is not a problem that suddenly happened when the “traditional family unit” stopped being forced upon women, and we began to get education and much-needed divorces.
The fact that spousal rape is a real thing should be all of the information necessary to school you in the fact that marriage is often not a super good bargain for a woman. Instead, it has often been the only way she could make it in life when paid pennies on a man’s dollar, forced to bear handfuls of children, and allowed a formal education if she were lucky enough to be from a well to do family that thought that women being educated was actually something worth paying for.
Yet, we still get this crowd, this “after the breakdown of the family unit” crowd. Yes, of course it’s tragic she doesn’t have to take your shit with a smile on her face any longer, Mr. Johnson. I’ll bet it’s terrible when your affair with your secretary is discovered and she leaves you for her own existence, without ever looking back to see who was going to make your dinner. The nerve.
What a Bitchface, right?
I can’t believe this is even a correlation scenario to these people. If, by some crazy spin of reality this could even be an acceptable conclusion, when were rapists raised with traditional values in the first place?
Numerous studies into the matter have shown it starts with some debased form of sexualism taking place in the home, in most circumstances. So, essentially, something that never mattered to them in the first place because they aren’t living behind the picket fence you live behind is all of the sudden going to make them less rapey?
No, seriously, it’s just ridiculous.
As often as I get these dudes blaming any and every situation for the abuse and disrespect of women, when I let them weave the entire web of idiocy for me, I never cease to be amazed at exactly how stupid it sounds once I give a recap on the matter. This is no different. Just a longer path to reach the same conclusion; of course, it isn’t the fault of the rapist. Little Jack Horny isn’t at fault for not understanding “no means no” and “go bother someone else” means stop messaging, you pervert.
Repeated victim blaming like these examples continue to lay the fault at the feet of women. The longer we continue to own the blame for the crimes and assaults of men, the longer they will continue to take place. These types of statements need to be shut down, loudly and publically, lest they take root. It is never the fault of the victim. Never. It is always the fault of the man who assaults her.
This post was previously published on An Injustice!
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