The No.1 Alarming Sign Your Relationship Is Going off-Track

People come and go, and we question ourselves when the important ones left.

They faded out from our lives gradually, and when we finally realize it, they are no longer the same people we used to have fun with, share our stories with, and plan a future with.

You wonder, how the hell did that happen? But even when the most alarming signs surfaced, you couldn’t bother to notice. Because you were so caught up in your own trivia, let alone to save the relationship before it sinks.

It’s always too late when we actually start trying.

But relationships don’t grow and blossom by themselves. People change and nothing lasts forever. We ought to make our effort to tend and nurture our relationships, to keep them healthy and secure.

The most alarming sign of an off-track relationship is the lack of communication.

People naturally love to share about themselves with those they trust. Being completely open with a partner and letting out our inner child freely means that we trust them enough to expose ourselves, without the fear of judgment and misunderstanding.

A stable and healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding and full transparency. It is through communication, we learn about our partners’ opinions, understand their way of thinking, and accept them as who they are.

Most couples argue not because they are angry, but because they expect themselves to be heard and understood, which is what everybody wants from an authentic relationship at the end of the day, because we simply can’t do it alone.

But here’s the thing: arguing, yelling, ignoring, cold-waring doesn’t solve the problem, only communication does. The formers do anything but put up a wall between two people that used to want to love and support each other, they become guarded and lose their trust, eventually, grow apart.

No matter what the reasons are, as long as you don’t communicate as often like before, when you lack the desire to share, you should be aware that this is a very dangerous sign.

Now, what can you do?

There are different scenarios for this, let me break it down:

• If you feel that your partner is drifting away, be more proactive to understand their feelings and perspectives.

People tend to be positive about their partners and they don’t give up relationships easily. But when your partner starts drifting away, he/she might’ve already felt disappointed multiple times. They want to give up because it has reached their limit and they’re losing hope in you.

Be proactive, but not aggressive. You need to find a way to let them express themselves so you can understand their feelings and perspectives.

Let me repeat this simple truth: ALL we want in relationships is just to be heard and understood.

So don’t make it a big deal. Be proactive, but not aggressive.

Instead of checking on them with the usual “what are you doing”, ask “how do you feel”, “what do you think”. Ask their opinions on things and give them a chance to express their feelings, as it loosens their guards slowly and cracks the invisible wall between you. All you need to do is simply what you’re supposed to do as a partner, listen, and understand with no judgment.

The end goal is to come to a mutual understanding. It’s not to find fault, not to blame.

• If you find yourself too caught up with your own things, and simply don’t talk to your partner as often as you used to, make sure you make time for your partner, regardless of how busy you are.

Relationship = Companionship both physically and mentally (More)

Many times, relationships went downhill as people communicate less and spend less time together.

We always think it’s fine to ignore our partners because they love us and they understand. We always take their understanding for granted and think they’ll be ok about it. But it’s only after we’ve lost them when we realize how selfish and naive we were.

Trust me, no matter how understanding people can be, they won’t be ok about this. We all need attention and care from our loved ones, and no doubt your partners deserve the same amount of love and care they showered you selflessly.

Are you really THAT busy? Is it worth it? Be aware of your personal time and time you spend with your partner if you truly value him/her. Tell them how your day has been, how busy you are, what you have been busy with, ask them what they are up to, and listen to them, I bet it’s not going to take much of your time, but the effort is definitely worth it.

Putting it all together…

Communication is vital for a healthy and stable relationship. Be aware of how often do you communicate, what do you communicate about, and be proactive when it is absent. Because at the end of the day, without communication, we can never truly understand our partners, let alone grow our relationships stronger and healthier.

—

This post was previously published on Medium.

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything