Ghosting: The new trend in abandoning what we don’t like.
Ghosting is a new school term that usually describes a break up which never actually happens. At times, it can refer to an unexpected disappearance of a person, place, or thing. Generally, the term is used for a person’s disappearance. In the old school days, when you found a new job and decided to leave your current one, you would offer your current company two weeks’ notice. Right?
Not today. Many people just go ghost. They disappear. They go off the grid. They treat this job like an ex. Or, soon-to-be ex. They stop working as much. They don’t care anymore. They show up late. Then they start calling in sick. Before you know it, they stop showing up. Then, they take it a step further. They block the boss’s number. They delete the contacts of coworkers. Maybe they even change their number completely. They go off the grid. They found a new job and don’t know how to separate from the old one. So they ghost.
When you break it off with someone, do you sit them down, call them up, or text them to let them know it’s over? If you do, the nineties has got a telegram for you: “You’re old school.” The hot new, new method of ending a relationship is ghosting. It’s not nice, but it works. A complete disappearing act is done rather than giving a proper goodbye. Classic. Who has time for proper goodbyes, anymore? All those exit interviews and such. It is way easier to just go ghost. Gone as fas as an Audi 5000, G. Plus, the new job is paying more, and they want me to start ASAP. Gotta go. Gotta go.
It’s the same with relationships. Platonic and otherwise. I’ve done it before, and it’s been done to me. Once.
When I was single. It was easy to ‘blow off’ a lover. Yeah, I was cold. I was heartless. I also was young. And, I didn’t know much better. Plus, the internet made it a lot easier to meet new people. Do you remember Blackplanet.com? Bountiful friendships, just a click away. It didn’t stop there. Chat lines became popular. You could just grab your phone, call up a chat line, and start kicking it with somebody. If the conversation went well, you’d hook up. If the hook up went well, well, you know.
Then before they knew it, I was off the grid. Man, I was cruel… No, I wasn’t. I was being a ghost, a lover ghost, a cowardly ghost. Yes, I know. I never realized that exiting stage left without so much as a goodbye was so wrong. That action could be damaging to the other person’s ego or psyche. Well, no one likes having hard conversations or hurting anyone’s feelings. If a person is mature enough to enter a relationship on a good note, they should be just as mature when exiting the relationship.
Easier said than done, I know. Breaking it off with someone sucks, regardless of the circumstances. But being an adult means doing the right thing, even if that thing is hard.