Dizzy….I was so dizzy, my head was spinning. Over the past few days, I have been experiencing vertigo. A lovely new symptom that is no fun. It has been intermittent and unpredictable. I felt off balance. The old me would have just let it go and see if it resolved itself.
Friday morning, I decided to check it out. I went to see my PA, Natasha Worthington who is wonderful. Friendly, professional and her smile lights up the room. She has been my go-to provider of medical care for many years. She asked a bunch of questions, had me do an EKG. Heart is in good shape. She then sent me to the ER for a CT scan. All good there too. My brain, although it felt like it was sloshing around in my head, is intact. I was referred to a Vestibular PT program. I’m proud of myself for asking my neighbor to drive me instead of risking driving myself like I did in 2014 in the midst of a heart attack. While I was in the ER, my son called about something unrelated and when he found out where I had been hanging out, he zipped over. He drove me home after discharge and I took a realllly long nap. The Antivert is helping too.
The old me would have driven myself.
The old me would have somehow managed to get through the day and see my clients, but I rescheduled with them.
The old me wouldn’t have asked for or accepted support.
The old me would have stayed up and not napped for those few hours.
The new me is realizing that as much as I want to think of myself as invulnerable and invincible, I am allowed to be fully human. I was actually wearing a t-shirt from Brandi Carlile’s merch site that was designed to honor the concert she did as a fundraiser for Minneapolis. The words on the front were simple…BE HUMAN.
Thank you, Debby and Adam for ‘driving Miss Daisy’ and to the staff at Penn Medicine/Doylestown Health, thank you for the professional TLC.
This was my reality yesterday. This morning, as I’m typing these words, the room is steady and not seeming like a boat adrift on a tumultuous sea. When I woke up, the ‘whoooooaaaa’ feeling swept over me. If you have never experienced vertigo, that is what the experience can be. I hope you are never awash like that. From what I have read, my case is blessedly pretty mild. I would like it to go away completely, never to return.
The Physical Therapist who saw me before I left and who ran me through a series of exercises, took my BP sitting and standing and then walking with me around the ER, said that additional factors could be the change in barometric pressure and the weather shifting dramatically. Last week it was in the low 80s and then the temps plummeted into the 20s. Mother Nature is experiencing menopause, it seems. She also let me know that stress could be a factor. Isn’t it for anything? I have a wonderful, albeit, stressful job as a therapist, seeing clients who are going through their own traumas and challenges. Secondary trauma is a thing. I do what I can to shake it off, but some of it sticks. Maybe this is a message for me to regain balance in a topsy-turvy world as well.
I am laying low at home today, forgoing the gym, disappointed, since I hoped for a good workout. Instead, I will enjoy a good nap somewhere in between doing some organizing and writing. This former Type A+ overachiever is learning the value of sleep, when I used to say that sleep was highly over-rated.
I am finding my sea legs. I am learning to regain balance in a topsy-turvy world. Learning to be fully human.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
