The biggest blows we take in life aren’t because of what others do to us, but because of the words that come out of our own mouths.
You revealed your secrets in a moment of excitement, ruined your relationships in a moment of anger, missed the opportunity of a lifetime in a moment of distraction. All these had one thing in common: You spoke when you shouldn’t have, and you opened up to people you shouldn’t have trusted.
If you’re wondering why you still haven’t reached the place you desire, first look at the words that come out of your mouth. True power is the ability to control your tongue.
From now on, I only speak to move forward. Say this to yourself to plant a positive seed in your subconscious. Because what you repeat eventually becomes what you live.
Stop telling everyone what’s going on in your life. Sharing your experiences might feel like relief at first, and venting your bottled-up emotions may seem like it’s lightening your burden. But when you keep telling the same stories over and over again, you unknowingly turn those pains into part of your identity. You get stuck in the past and have difficulty seeing the new paths ahead of you.
The issue here isn’t denying what you’ve been through, but rather not opening new wounds by constantly repeating your pain and shortcomings. The pain you’ve experienced is merely your experience — it is not your identity.
Some people feel the need to talk about their problems before starting or continuing a conversation. At first, this may seem like a need to vent, but over time, you’ll notice that they’ve fallen in love with their stories. Suffering gives them a sense of privilege. The more they talk about their pain, the more special they feel. The more they are listened to, the more they feel validated.
This gradually turns into an emotional addiction. They become increasingly attached to their comfort zones. If the problem is always outside of them, then there’s nothing they need to change on the inside.
What if instead of repeating your problems, you had started talking about your dreams? What if you spoke more about what inspires you and less about what limits you? What if you had changed your story — how would your life look today?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Ling App on Unsplash
