The Path to “Good” Parenting Is To Put Your Mental Health First

I’ve never met a mother or a father that is present and involved in the life of their children, who doesn’t have an enormous love for them and a deep desire to get things right and raise them to be the happiest people on Earth.

Unfortunately, the big challenges we face every day can lead us into a cycle of authoritarianism, permissiveness (to compensate for the authoritarian moments), and guilt.

This, added to the fact that we are all overtasked in this modern world, makes us feel like we don’t have enough time to do what we believe is truly important.

Considering that, how much of the love you feel for your child do you think really reaches them?

Regardless of your answer, I’m sure that we aren’t able to show 100% of our love all the time.

However, what we can do is adjust the energy we devote to each situation. That means making sure that our ACTIONS are in line with our INTENTIONS, acknowledging your limitations, feelings, and needs.

If that makes sense to you, share, follow and comment on this post, come run the marathon of life with us.

Find a balance between:

The child decides what to do Vs. I decide what they do.

This is one of the biggest challenges faced by parents, especially mothers.

There are those children who want to wear shorts when it’s cold, who insist on putting on their shoes on their own when you’re running late. There’re also those who ask for help with almost everything, even when you say they’re capable of doing it themselves.

There’re no rules or specific age that determines when we should help the children or let them do things for themselves. Every child is unique and that gives us a sense of uncertainty and insecurity to the point that experimentation ends up being the only way.

It’s important to observe and balance control, care and encouragement.

Because sometimes giving autonomy and encouraging independence is mistaken for letting children make decisions and choices on their own.

Contrary to what it may seem, children do need adults, and that helps
structure their development.

Offering support is different from letting them do things by themselves, and it’s different from doing things for them. And that’s where the challenge lies, in balance, observation, and trying.

The way we see the child impacts the way they see themselves in the world, and that involves our ability to free ourselves from our desires and expectations about them.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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