Traditions, whether big or small, bring stability and consistency into a relationship. No matter what events transpire throughout the day, you can always depend on a pleasant closure to the day with a thoughtful and straightforward bedtime routine. Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I have taken special care to spend a few minutes running through our bedtime traditions each day. I’ll get to the point and share what those are. However, before I do, I must make an important note: my spouse and I have made it a habit to try our best to go to bed together. I recognize that this may not be feasible under all circumstances, but when possible, try. It creates a strong sense of unity and awareness of one another when you’re able to lay your heads down together at the end of the day. If you’re not already doing it, try it.
Here are the three evening traditions that my husband and I never, and I mean EVER, skip.
Tell each other one reason why you love them
Call us cheese balls, but reminding each other why they are loved has undoubtedly strengthened our relationship. My husband and I do it when we’re in bed. We snuggle together and whisper it, so our sleeping baby doesn’t wake. It’s the sweetest way to close your eyes before falling asleep. As we juggle work, school, our 1-year old daughter, errands, going to the gym, church, etc., it can easily slip our minds to compliment one another. When was the last time you sincerely complimented your significant other? Reflect on what you noticed in the day that you appreciated about your partner and use that as the basis of your comment: “It was so nice of you today to help me with the dishes. I love you because you’re always thinking of me”. To this day, I wonder every night what my husband will say to me before we go to bed, and it genuinely makes me happy.
Pray or reflect on what you were grateful for that day
I understand that not everybody prays, but whether you do or not, a short moment of reflection of the good in your day with your partner can be insightful and humbling. This meditative practice can also be a great segway into a conversation about their day if you haven’t already spoken of it. Let’s be real, sometimes life takes us by storm, and we forget to ask our partners even the most basic questions. I often find myself learning small yet essential details of my husband’s day that I perhaps never would have found out if it weren’t for the additional time we take each night to ponder, pray and reflect together.
The bear hug
A kiss before turning the lights off is a given. It’s easy. All you have to do is roll over for a quick smooch and call it a night. However, the bear hug requires a little more effort, maybe just enough effort for it to be skipped over all too often. For whatever reason, my husband and I usually remember to do it while we’re brushing our teeth. I don’t need to elaborate much more. Let your own experience take you back to how good it feels to be in the strong embrace of your lover. Do it daily. Why wouldn’t you?
. . .
By the time I have finished sharing my husband and I’s nightly traditions, I have become aware that our practices may seem “young” or “childish,” but we are madly in love! What were some of the traditions or small efforts that you and your partner did when you were head-over-heels for one other? Do you still do them today? Do you take those little moments in your day to slow down for one another and show them your affection?
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” -Mignon Mclaughlin
This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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