“I wrote this article drawing from my own personal experiences. It’s beautiful right through to the end, and I would love it if you could share your response after reading.” Thank you!
I used to fold myself into smaller versions — softer voice, quieter laughter, dimmer light.
“You’re a lot,”
past lovers would say, their faces caught between a laugh and a warning. So I became less: less passionate, less messy, less me. Until one rainy Tuesday, over burnt toast and terrible coffee, someone looked at me — really looked — and said, “God, you’re glorious.”
This is what happens when you meet someone who doesn’t just tolerate your “too much,” but thrives on it.
What We Do Wrong:
Hide our “big” feelings (“I’m fine” instead of “I’m devastated”)
Apologize for excitement (“Sorry, I’m rambling”)
Mistake chemistry for compatibility (passion ≠ understanding)
A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found people who suppress emotions for partners experience:
34% higher stress levels
Lower relationship satisfaction
Increased feelings of loneliness while together
My Breaking Point:
The night I sobbed silently in a bathroom after my partner sighed, “Do you always have to feel things so deeply?”The Moment You Stop Apologizing for Your Fire
Signs You’ve Met “Your Person”:
- They lean in when you rant about your niche passion
- Your intensity doesn’t scare them — it intrigues them
- They remember your “small” details
My now-partier once drove 45 minutes at midnight to bring me a specific brand of pickles during a breakdown. “I know the crunchy ones fix everything,” he said, like it was obvious.
How to Spot the Difference Between Love and Tolerance
Tolerance Sounds Like:
“I guess you can play your playlist… again”
“We don’t have to see your family this weekend”
“You’re cute when you’re rational”
Love Sounds Like:
“Play your weird song — I know it makes you happy”
“Your mom’s stories kill me, let’s go early”
“Come here, let me hold you while you feel it all”
Stanford researchers found couples who actively celebrate each other’s quirks (not just accept them) report:
2x higher intimacy levels
40% less conflict
Deeper long-term bonding
The Unshakable Truth
Your “too much” is someone else’s “thank god, finally.”
- Your “loud” laugh? Their favorite sound.
- Your “clingy” texts? Their morning highlight.
- Your “overthinking”? The depth they crave.
Clap if you’ve ever been told you’re “too much.”
Comment your “glorious” trait someone finally celebrated.
Kindly follow for more content.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: freestocks on Unsplash
