Do you have the confidence to follow through with your decisions?
If there’s one thing that is absolutely central to how a strong man conducts himself it’s this; decision, which has its root origin in the Latin decisio which means to ‘cut off.’
This is the cutting off of other choices. It refers to one choice having been made, and made with absolute intent, to the degree that all other options have been done away with.
This, in my opinion, is more symbolic than anything else. We may, after all, have to change our minds from time to time if a better course of actions has been shown to us. But re-thinking our decisions in this way would behoove many a man in our modern times.
It feels to me that men have robbed themselves of strength by not understanding and appreciating just how much personal power they can manifest through their decisions – by acting on their intent and living with integrity.
Integrity is doing what you said you’d do.
Integrity is strength. When a building doesn’t have structural integrity, it collapses.
Integrity, then, is central to the masculine. And it is measured in the power of your decisions.
Women understand this on an intuitive level, by the way.
Guys, remember that often times when she is upset about something … that something is often just an expression of you having lost integrity. She’s felt it and wants you to get back on course, to step back into your masculine and stick with your decisions. You won’t appreciate her complaint in the moment, but in the bigger picture you can appreciate that you have someone who will always let you know when you’re going off-course (I know, easier said than done for sure!)
How to cultivate integrity through strengthening our decisions
It’s not enough to simply decide to make stronger decisions and live with more integrity. Your decision-making muscles are under-developed. So just as with strength training, you have to start light.
Try making a cup of tea with maximum intent.
More as an experiment than an exercise, I want you to see what is feels like to do everyday tasks; writing an email, doing the dishes, leaving for work, taking the dog for a walk — in a way where you feel the strength of your decision.
Rather than act on autopilot in the moment, the next thing you realize you need to do; try feeling how much strength you can apply to the process of making that decision. See how resolute you can be in deciding to do that thing, having cut off all other options. Then when acting on that decision, feel the innate power you have in your capacity to decide and then act, with full integrity.
You can then move on to ‘bigger’ things; things that require a bit more energy. Try this process now with things like doing a workout, having a meeting with a boss or colleague, having sex with your woman.
How I started to cultivate personal power through decision
A few months ago, I decided to do something every day that I didn’t want to do. And I chose things that I wouldn’t be able to forget or avoid because they tie in with my daily routine.
The first was to take a cold shower every day. Specifically, at the end of my ‘normal’ shower, I would blast myself with cold water for as long as I could. Every. Single. Time.
There’s a whole bunch of health benefits related to cold showers, believe it or not. But mostly because I didn’t want to do it. This is an exercise in deciding on doing something difficult and sticking with it simply because I said I would.
Along with feeling clearer and more focussed probably as a result of the cold water, it feels good having done something you didn’t want to do; something that isn’t particularly fun in the moment, but directly rewards you in a way immediately after — feeling invigorated in this case.
As crazy as it sounds, this simple practice is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I generally feel (even) better about myself in all areas of my life.
The second decision I made was to always walk up the escalator during my solo daily travels on the London Underground. There are times when I just don’t want to — when I’ve been working all day or it’s the day after a heavy leg workout. But I do it anyway. The direct benefits are that my cardiovascular fitness has actually improved; it’s become easier for my lungs and my legs. But the primary benefit is actually more subtle. Since starting sticking with this decision without fail, I again notice a general increase in feeling that I’m living in my masculine and staying true to myself by staying true to my word.
So go and do it for yourself. Try practicing feeling the power of your intent in the small decisions you make every day, and build these up to more ‘serious’ tasks. And you can also follow my practice of deciding to see something through every single day. Start small, start light. Do NOT set yourself up for failure or you will re-enforce unconscious negative beliefs and patterns.
Good luck and enjoy the process!
Previously posted on SharifHJoyson.com