Have you noticed that? As relationships last longer, partners find themselves arguing over even minor issues! Many intimate relationships suffer because we don’t know how to:
– Express our needs and expectations
– Motivate each other to meet expectations
– Appropriately respond to each other’s emotions
– Resolve conflicts and disagreements
If yes, no need to worry! It is common for couples to argue over minor issues, in the result leading to an unproductive fight. While you may want to avoid confrontation, hurtful words are often exchanged. Therefore, it is important for couples to learn practical communication skills to handle conflicts constructively!
Here are 8 tips from happy couples on communicating better, which could positively impact your relationship:
1.Say “thank you” instead of “sorry”
Do you say “thank you for listening to me” or “I’m sorry, I don’t want to talk to you about this”? In fact, it’s all about choices in a relationship and the way you see your partner. Try to be positive by expressing gratitude. Focusing on the good will make you feel more satisfied and hopeful. While there’s always room to improve, research shows happiness and longevity in relationships come from appreciating what you have, not by constantly striving for perfection.
So notice and acknowledge what you value in your partner and the relationship each day through “thank you” instead of another “sorry”. This positivity will help you both feel and give love and support more fully.
2.Try to use “we/our” instead of “I/my”
Make the choice to use plural pronouns like “we”, “us” and “our” instead of singular “I”, “me”, or “my”. This shows you view yourselves as a team and are inclusive of each other’s perspectives. You built the relationship together, so take shared responsibility for its successes and failures. The little choices you each make daily can either strengthen or strain your bond, so be conscious of using words that convey you’re a united front. Shifting to this inclusive language will help you communicate from a place of “us” instead of “me”.
3.Say “it’s okay” instead of “I told you so”
When issues arise, avoid language that creates power struggles or places judgment or even worse, blames. Rather than proving you were right, respond with reassurance that you’re a team handling the situation together. A collaborative dynamic where you offer comfort and convey “it’s okay, we’ll work through this” shows mutual respect. Sharing responsibility demonstrates you’re both invested in the relationship’s success through challenges. Make this a go-to response to uplift your partnership during difficulties rather than divide.
4.Say “good night” every day
Establish the habit of reconnecting at the end of each day to exchange “good night” wishes. This reminds you that the relationship is a priority and that you’re there for each other no matter what the day brought. While simple, keeping this practice helps you stay close despite busy schedules or disagreements. It also gives you an opportunity to reflect on joys or difficulties as a team. Make this moment of closure a staple of your partnership so you end each day with togetherness and a fresh start for the next!
5.Say “I love you” as much as you could
While some worry that frequent expressions of love can diminish sincerity or meaning, regularly saying “I love you” helps reinforce your commitment to the relationship. As life’s demands and other distractions compete for your attention, making this simple statement a habit reaffirms that your partner is a priority to you. It also gives you opportunities to reconnect emotionally and remember why you’re sharing the journey of life together, despite any hardships or disagreements. So express your love openly and often as a way to stay close and appreciate each other.
6.Just listen, no judgment
For open communication, allow your partner to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of blame, lecture, or disagreement. Withholding judgment or criticism and instead listening with care, acceptance, and empathy shows you respect them and your relationship. From now on, understand them even if you see things differently. Releases them to be fully honest with you, so you can give the support! Listen rather than advise. Your partnership will grow stronger as you make space for empathy and honesty.
7.Be generous with compliments
Notice and openly acknowledge the qualities and actions you appreciate in your partner. Whether personality traits or things they do, expressing what you value in them through genuine compliments. It definitely makes them feel seen and cherished. It also highlights why you chose to commit to each other, strengthening your connection. Being generous with praise helps you both realize the potential and joy of the relationship. More importantly, inspires acts of kindness in return!
8.Laugh together
Share moments of joy and levity as a release from stress or disagreement. Whether through stories, memories, jokes, or just silliness, just find ways to laugh together! This helps you stay bonded by lifting your mood and easing tension. Especially when life becomes difficult, reconnecting through humor reminds you that despite the challenges, you can choose to be happy and handle things with a sense of togetherness. Insert laughs and playfulness into the relationship regularly. Taking time to be fun and light-hearted will carry you through hard and easy moments with a sense of partnership and enjoyment of each other.
In truth, you care deeply for each other and understand one another. Perhaps your relationship only lacks open and honest communication.
To regain warmth and intimacy, are you willing to put in the effort to improve communication? It’s time for your action!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Dương Hữu on Unsplash
